FakeAstros

@Astros_MRL holy shit. I had no appreciation of you guys until I visited. Everyone in this city wants you to die in a horrific highway accident. I'm nowhere near strong enough to handle it. You're so mentally strong to willingly drive on these highways. Props.

Down by 4 in the bottom of the final inning with 2 outs @MattressCadaire hits his first donger Rocco Rudnikov doubles @DukeNukemFakeBB draws the walk Rex Kidobi 2 RBI Double Ola Gjeilo RBI Triple (1st career hit) Sam Wood/Riles McGiles game winning RBI Double #ShootIt

Ladies and gentlemen... We got em! 3-1 Astros victory over @RealFakeBJs to eliminate their playoff hopes

What the hell was the commissioner thinking when he let a bunch of bozos from Canada into our league. Get these Toronto garbage ass birds out of MLR @RealFakeBJs

@RealFakeBJs You're welcome. Also I hope your entire team gets an itchy mosquito bite somewhere extremely inconvenient (except for Josh)

@RealFakeBJs @fakedevilrays If we beat them, we win. If we lose, it makes you mad and that's a win. Win-win

@Astros_MRL We wouldnt like that, but wed be very content if you beat @fakedevilrays, who you actually play next

We haven't been very good this season but as long as we beat @RealFakeBJs, we can be slightly content

@fakephils @Phillies Hi there 🙋🏾‍♂️

Hello! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️@Phillies

The One Where Houston Plays @NYYankeesMLR

@FakeRiter @Astros_MRL This is real news. Fuck Texas. Their attempted "identity" is good ol southern boys, but there's no charm or courtesy. It's an excuse for every resident to be an asshole. Plus Houston is a concrete hellhole filled with dickheads. Fuck Houston, and Fuck Texas.

GameDay Giveaway! First 32,518 fans in attendance get a free @DukeNukemFakeBB bobblehead! The game already started but nobody is here yet so come and get em

SESSION 8 LINEUP 🚀

Our catcher Rocco isn't just elite at framing fake pitches. He's also Top 5 in the world at making BLT Sandwiches and making Astros Win gifs

TWO GRAND SLAMS + A SOLO DINGER ALL IN ONE INNING. WATCH OUT LEAGUE WE'RE FINALLY HOT 🔥🔥🔥 twitter.com/NoSwagSlansky/…

@NYYankeesMLR @taradac61711749 The rich get richer. 10/10 move

The @NYYankeesMLR would like to extend the warmest of welcomes to our newest pitcher Tara Dactyl! Welcome to the big city!! @taradac61711749

What's better than 1 Grand Slam in an inning? 2 GRAND SLAMS IN ONE INNING #DCM4MVP P.S. Duke followed it up with a solo HR. We hot 🔥🔥🔥

First hit ☑️ First homer ☑️ First RBI ☑️ Only took half the season ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #YeahStros

Why go to Denny's for a Grand Slam when you can watch the Astros rookie Harry Peritestes serve up one for you?

We score 2 runs in the 6th, but ultimately lost 3-2. At least we made the Tigers sweat a little bit Gg fake Detroit. You may have won but we have better fake BBQ

Yes we're late posting this. Handsome people have to make an entrance when you least expect it.