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@DionBoykin1 Good luck this wnba season bro. You and your family deserve all the blessings!!

My wife green lit me to bet $500 opening day on a 2 pick my homie was on speaker & was like man don’t do that. It made her nervous so I took my bet down. We won but she asked how much would we have won if I bet the $500 I told her & she instantly told me I need new friends 😭😭😭

Hours.

Looking at the 19 year old building my soft serve ice cream helmet 4 beers in

Looked my boss in his 2 pupils and told him to raise my pay if he values his jaw

Monday morning Teams meetings

Women calling their husbands “daddy” in front of the kids 😂

I found a bra in his suitcase and he said it’s from when he was f@t years back. He said he had saggy titt!ěs and kept it to remind him how far he’s come with his weight loss journey.

Girl just told me she ghosted me because I got too drunk and rode the mechanical bull 3 times on our first date

Ngl going that little 5 - 10 over the speed limit in the left lane isn’t enough bro u need to want to be here

my gf has been challenging my pokemon knowledge, saying there's no way I can name every pokemon / remember their names and has been sending me random ones: imagine my suprise when Mr Craw was on the phone...

whats your bronouns? lately im partial to big dawg

unfortunately i have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man

hug y'all ex tight because mine really done with me this time

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge on the highway?

Phsyically in the office but mentally pushing Flag B on Nuketown

Me and my dad that one summmer where I landscaped with him