Bryan Valencia

Coming to an e-reader near you! a.co/d/02SvPzw pre-orders open!

I love my life.

Power outages all across California, Nevada and Oregon

Why does the song “piano man” open with a harmonica solo?

@elonmusk I'd rather live with false hope than with false despair.

For quality of life, it is better to err on the side of being an optimist and wrong, rather than a pessimist and right

My 2 favorite shows about Hollywood. 1. S1m0ne imdb.com/title/tt025815… 2. Episodes imdb.com/title/tt158235…

Help me. I am new to this and I need some ARC readers.

I would rather have people flame my book than seeing that no one read it.

I love the fog.

@RinoTheBouncer Ludicrous. My first game was Pong. I played the tar out of it. Money well spent for the entertainment value.

Discuss! Be honest🚀

@AtelierMissor_ Steel Armstrong

Building a statue on the Moon would show the world that the West is not merely utilitarian, but striving for something else. Something higher. Low gravity, no wind, no oxidation… it seems like the perfect place for a gigantic titanium statue!

@JebraFaushay For Joe-do!

May 2026 be the year that Nick Shirley finds a daycare for little Joey.

@HellRaz0r1776 Just tell her you “bard” them for a while.

Wife: Where are all the coffee filters? Me:

@middle_class_us That’s because a bag of food that was $8.00 is now $23.00, and the food is smaller.

McDonald’s says customers are “pulling back.” Same with Wendy’s. Same with Burger King. When fast food loses traffic, it’s a stress signal. People are tapped out.

@drivet1411 I once sat in the car with my tantrum throwing daughter while my wife and other daughter finished their meal.

A reminder to those who take their unruly kids to restaurants… we don’t like your kids, we don’t like them running past our table while you let them, we don’t think they’re cute or adorable while there running amok and we think you’re bad parents for allowing it, thanks.

@ThrillaRilla369 I find that I taper off over time

Would you still tweet if you got zero likes on all your posts?

@SandyofCthulhu Vought F4-U Corsair.

Every man worth his salt has a favorite WW2 plane. It’s okay if it changes as you get older. What’s yours?