Rick “The Tickler” Epstein, CPA

John, The “Fighting Michael Otts” do not face Alma until tomorrow. Accordingly, you should settle for Brant Goodpaster’s mom’s perfect gozongas. Enjoy your evening and see you tomorrow. Best, Rick

@JimLongbottom01 @DangerJohn67 @johnny_barry1 @miaaDerek @DShawnWatty @EmmitAcorn @Gregbarrels99 @JamesPMorg91493 We are all Mikey Kuzara! #resist #shrink

MIAA burners, we need to unite. Todd Fond here can’t take a joke and is now trying to dox burners. JIMBO LONGBOTTOM WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. We must bully these losers off the app. @DangerJohn67 @johnny_barry1 @miaaDerek @DShawnWatty @EmmitAcorn @Gregbarrels99 @JamesPMorg91493

@EarlWash3rd Truth, “Gifted Sacker” is listed at the top of my résumé/CV. The only thing holding sack back is societal norms. If bar sack has no supporters, consider me dead. Toodles, Rick

@Ball_Kn0wledge Rick, Is it time to #expand hacky sack at the bar? Best regards, EW3

“What’s your why?”, they ask. My “why” for getting out of bed is getting to play hacky sack for 20 minutes today before practice. I should’ve gone to a Big 10 school and joined a frat. Fuck it we ball #tickled #touse

@SeedflickeJon Dear Jon, I would agree however if this was true Calvin would have at least 25 wins. They’re raw as fuck. Best, Rick

@Ball_Kn0wledge But those 20 minutes of hacky sack are either prime display of skill or a quick way for the other team to see they’re going to sweep you. #hackysacksetsthetone

@DisgruntledFan7 Furthermore, it turns out he can’t read all that good. How the hell do you flunk out of Adrian?

Can any of the Adrian burners tell me what happened to Jakeb Charles? #ThatKidWasABitch #TakeThatShitBackToTexas

@DangerJohn67 Johnny, Omitting Logan Klotz should be punishable by death. Who wears a QB handwarmer in 65 degree weather? Best, Rick

Biggest chuds on Adrian college roster🤮🤮 5. Chris “fat boy” Oliver 4. Zach “my pants are too tight” Wade 3. Reid “titties” Tintsman 2. Edward “meatball” Birniasz We all know who number one is, quite possibly the biggest chud in the MIAA 1. Gabe “Chungus fuck” Jones

Bobby, Great tweet. However, facing Gabe “strikeout” Jones four times a game is certainly a good thing about playing Adrian. Keep up the tweeting slugger. Best, Rick #tickled

BREAKING: The “Monroe Street Pisser” has been spotted en route to Old Goat. Will update as information comes in. #tickled

Daydreaming about Ryan Davis’s hog. Can @Nic_Bruder paint ol’ Rick here a word picture? Asking for a friend

Breaking: Rust Glove winner and "most likely to wipe standing" second runner-up Jack Friesen is current odds-on favorite for MIAA "tightest bod" award.

Happy “Throwback Thursday” to former 2x All-MIAA First Team 2nd baseman David Stechow!

@DisgruntledFan7 Definitely a case to be made here Jason!

MIAA Burners, can we get nominations for shitter of the year?

@DisgruntledFan7 Noah “How is He Still Starting” Swope

@DisgruntledFan7 Good point Jason. He could be insanely fugly, like Gabe Jones of Adrian Baseball.

@Ball_Kn0wledge Just because he leads the league in errors and his .180 doesn’t make him the worst

Noah Swope is literally the worst baseball player of all time.

Dear MIAA Burner Accounts, a few teams have gotten off easy this week. With that being said Fuck Albion who the fuck makes their school colors purple and gold. #ThatsFuckingGay

@DisgruntledFan7 @JohnSundgren23 TJ ending Calvin’s baseball program needs to be studied.

@Ball_Kn0wledge @JohnSundgren23 Not true, my biggest rival is postseason baseball. #WeNeverFuckingWin #TylerJohnsonPlzComeBack

What I imagine Mike Ott’s childhood bedroom looked like #d3

@johnny_barry1 @DisgruntledFan7 @JohnSundgren23 The important thing is to hate Hope!

@Ball_Kn0wledge @DisgruntledFan7 @JohnSundgren23 Someone has to defend the little guys of the conference like Trine Olivet and Alma

@johnny_barry1 @DisgruntledFan7 @JohnSundgren23 “Trine” and “Olivet” commenting on postseason play

@Ball_Kn0wledge @DisgruntledFan7 @JohnSundgren23 Oh nice, great work advancing to the conference championship game, did you guys win? #rivalryweek #thirdleg