Tyler

men: I can’t be friends with a woman I want to fuck also men: I’d fuck most women

@bad_KATtitude_ WOW. *takes seatbelt off*

@BalloonFlavour No. Anyone dude with the name Tyler is immediately excluded

Can I smell you?

@kms_atm 👎

@BalloonFlavour maybe 😔

Are you eating burgers with other bitches?

@EdgarPoop1 Shitting yourself in these would go so hard

why we even wearing any atp

@slothy_420 Shut your lying mouth

@BalloonFlavour they’re just sliders they mean nothing

No autocorrect for hand written love notes

(Flirting) blah blah blah blah

white people are powerless against a good pair of jeans

“Would you mind leaving us a positive review?” Sure, would you mind giving me an employee discount?

you didn’t “already read 50 books this year” you had background noise

@floatawaywitme It’s not gay enough for him

there’s another app for that. begins with a G and ends with R

@WJGCapeCod STOP THAT NOW!!!

@BalloonFlavour 🤣🤣

I like porn I just wish they didn’t take the lord’s name in vain so much

@slothy_420 Don’t be shy bro

i’ve never used a urinal

@bad_KATtitude_ Yes mom

People not putting their seatbelts on in my car immediately pisses me off. We’re not moving until they are on sorry

@lungbuttr Must be nice

i can feel the grip of this awful website loosening on my mind i feel free

@slothy_420 I’ll keep them all in a special folder and send them to you at the end of the day

@BalloonFlavour stop deleting good ones while i’m at work and don’t see it until it’s too late bro

Don’t talk to me until I’ve deleted my first tweet of the morning

@tropicaIghost Flushing a shitpost

flushing a tweet down the toilet