𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕚𝕘 𝔸𝕔𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕝™

I don't judge my clients. Punched a cop? I will help you. Stabbed your mom with a fork? I'm here. In other words, I will represent all you cop sockers and mother forkers.

"Talk to police" says person who worked for police. Lol, this is literally the worst advice ever. Remain silent! THAT is the only right you should be protecting.

A few years ago I learned that you can schedule texts so sometimes I have to reschedule ones that I scheduled a couple months in advance just in case I died suddenly, Just so all my group chats and friends can get the message I'm back bitches! After my funeral

Yes yes yes, a thousand times. Do not bring the system into your home and your families lives unless you absolutely have to! It is always a last resort. Police don't give one single fuck about you, your kids, your dog or anything you care about. People get killed this way.

There are two kinds of people in the world. People who pay you cash and all the heads are going the same direction and people who can fuck right off.

If you know, you know: Has the mystery of why Andrea was the target been solved? And why are we not talking more about how the FBI guy used to date her? There is definitely more here. Talk amongst yourselves.

If you are walking in a shopping Center parking lot and there is a F-150 or an Altima approaching please be careful. Statistically there is an 84% chance that they will ignore the crosswalk, stop signs, and you.

I had two clients this morning both of whom I feared would end this day in jail. After hearings, both of them went home with their families. There are many different kinds of victory. These were as satisfying as any.

With some completely ridiculous arbitrary rules coming from multiple directions, Anne Arundel County Court is becoming simply not worth it. When rules no longer align with reality in any way the situation becomes untenable. I don't know if I will even accept cases here anymore

@MoiraRose @AACountySchools In person class when it's 12° at the bus stop creates equity issues for low income families who's children may not have good winter coats or a warm car to sit in while they wait for the bus. I know what you meant with this comment and I get it but it comes off badly.

@AACountySchools This requirement was NOT clear from your voicemail. Please state student and family expectations clearly and/or send teaching instructions separately. All synchronous and asynchronous instruction create equity issues for working families. This is a problem.

7:00 p.m., 1/16/24: Real-time (synchronous) virtual instruction for students on January 17. Details and employee reporting requirements at aacps.org/weather

So now that I drive one I can state this as absolute fact: Land Rover is a cult. #LandRover

Just checking in on this wasteland hellscape to point out that this week is the third anniversary of that moronic Trumper tasing himself in the balls until he died. He gave his life so that we could all get a much needed laugh during a difficult time. I salute you, sir. RIP.

@drunicusrex @bp_Beannn @techy_twist I keep telling people that but so far no one wants to call me that despite the D in my degree.

@BeattyLaw @bp_Beannn @techy_twist This would mean you're a juris doctor, Doctor. Which is also a doctor.

How far would you go to make your life easier? These hacks will challenge your moral compass

@RonFilipkowski The only people who say this are people who have never spent any time in Europe and don't know anything about it.

This boy ain’t right.

@CarolSOtt Since my second bout with covid many foods I liked before taste...off. it's unsettling.

I have discovered today that I really don't care for potato chips anymore. Weird. First caffeine and now potato chips? What's...happening?

@emilykmay In Maryland both of those things are waaaay to easy.

it's pretty difficult to institutionalize someone against their will, but you know what's easy? arresting someone and holding them.

I have a love/hate relationship with Patriot and you, @StevConrad. I love this show and all of it's layers and love you for creating it. But I'm also saddened and angered because it makes me realize that I will never be able to write anything this good. Never. Goddamn it.

@StevConrad Watching Patriot for the 7th time. Each time I find myself focusing on a different aspect & now it's Edward and what a fantastic brother & human being he is. I just watched the scene in the hospital where Ed stands up to his father for John's sake and it's perfect.

Rest in Hell, #HenryKissinger, mass murderer, liar, terrorist, bomber and the very embodiment of evil. Good fucking riddance.

Picking out our seats for the #Orioles 2024 World Series season. #Birdland

New twitter really disappointed me. I thought I would see a lot more "full beaver" jokes. #BeaverMoon