Ben Freeman

My bath fits. Thank you @BathFitter

Gonna make a playlist of the best song from each year since 1924 and name it “100 years of solid-tunes”

@RonsBigBrother The trick is to not realize you fucked it up until the next morning

The house next door was torn down and now it looks like WWI outside of my window

@carolynrfreeman Yes but then it disappeared. Not sure if that’s normal. I don’t get a lot of voice memos

Disappointed that nobody has called me on my Pitbull birthday as I turn 30.5 today

@KibblesandFritz Wiz-Pels finals is finally gonna happen this year

Pelicans on pace to go 98-0 and win every game by 80. Still think they have room to improve

These headlines are hilarious because at first glance it reads like NASA covering up for a colossal fuck up

@TulaneOwen @CBS @survivorcbs twitter.com/benfreeman123/…

DREAMS. COME. TRUE!!! So excited to finally tell y’all that I got to play the greatest game on Earth- SURVIVOR! Catch the 2 hour premiere on Wednesday 9/21! 🔥🌴 #survivor #survivor43 @CBS @survivorcbs

@TulaneOwen @CBS @survivorcbs This is great because watching you on survivor has always been my dream

@therealbspinksy Google “Denver airport Illuminati”

why does the blue horse at the denver airport give eye of sauron

@therealbspinksy Anthony L? More like Anthony W!

shoutout to southwest social media manager/customer service rep Anthony L!! he only took a couple minutes to help fix something that in person Southwest agents said they couldn’t help with for hours. give this man a raise!!

@SouthwestAir i’m on flight 967 from hayden to denver that was delayed 2 hours. we are missing our connection from denver to boston (flight 175) but no one in hayden has info on a new connecting flight. could you please advise how to get an update?

@carolynrfreeman The outdoor area next to B8 is pretty nice

@carolynrfreeman The arrival lane is less stunning so grab ya bags and get out here

@BonitaHartono Best Hurricanes in the city and your reviews become increasingly more garbled and typo-ridden

How do I collaborate on this project? Perhaps a follow up study on the best poboys.

@_AmandaFetter I’m gonna take a guess - Scott Disick?

Not a well-known celebrity with a net worth of 10 million trying to pay my artist friend in exposure…

@_AmandaFetter Try gogurt. It’s like yogurt but if you’re on the go

I hate yogurt but twice a year I feel like trying it again because maybe my tastebuds have changed, ya know? And every single time I hate it. Anyway, on my way to go buy some yogurt.

The greatest prank my mom ever pulled is giving my phone number to the people at her alma mater that solicit donations