EmptyBee

I did not memorize the brachial plexus just to stay silent when a movie action hero is shot in the shoulder with zero consequences.

Lex Luthor: you will never stop the bomb! Superman: Think again Luthor! *Superman blasts off at the speed of light. His body traveling that fast creates intense friction in the air around him. The atmosphere literally ignites, burning every living thing*

@HumeralO “Uhmmm…yes…i see…and he bonked his head…yes I see ma’am…yeah…i would prescribe no more monkeys jumping on the bed…no ma’am I’m not going to test for concussion…well you see you called a doctor when you should have called a veterinarian.”

The doctor on the phone with the mamma for the third time after yet another little monkey fell off the bed and hit their head

My 8 yo rolled his eyes at this one. I love it.

@goodreads Robbins Pathology

What's the scariest book you've ever read? 👻

Go, go King of Gondor!!! #doodle

Diagnosis of a Mole That is Becoming Cancerous #doodle #comic

🎶bleeding isn’t in my blood🎶 Me: The Huntrix team have excellent clotting factors

My 5 yo niece: Uncle Empty, why does your watch have a clock on it? Me:…i feel so old…

@LJTafeMD I appreciate your encouragement a lot. Thanks.

@BennettEmpty Keep writing these poems too. 💙

Here is a poem explaining why I don’t write as much poetry anymore #poetrycommunity #Poem medium.com/literally-lite…

*10 seconds before grilling was invented* Guy: Cooking would be more fun if I was also getting sunburnt

Maybe this is why I hate sleeping. #poetry medium.com/blueinsight/mi…

My 4 yo: Dad, what happens when you die… Me: uh, well 4 yo:…in Minecraft? Me: Oh thank goodness.

@HumeralO This is the best one

My patient when I tell them we have a trick to get them out of SVT

Someone asked my 8 yo what he wants to be when he grows up and he said, “A dad” Me: 🥰

It’s actually shocking how little meteorologists talk about meteors

Them: kit kats that are broken at the factory are crushed and mixed into new kit kats. So, its possible that your kit kat contains part of the first one. Me: when my bar of soap gets small i squish it onto a new bar. I could be washing with the same bar of soap for 10 years.

@HumeralO Now that I think about it, in the episode the magic school bus goes inside a human it is Ralphie when he is sick, and he listens in on a radio thing. So basically Ms. Frizzle is trying to get rid of him here while he listens in. She is a monster

@BennettEmpty Have you all ever heard of an occlusive myocardial infarction? Ralphie: Ms. Frizzle, you monster

Ms. Frizzle: Okay Explorers! We are in the left anterior descending artery, also known as “The Widowmaker”! Ralphie: why is that? Ms. Frizzle *pulls the e-brake, and drifts the bus sideways*

@wifemomPGY3md Happy to have taught something! I also saw there is a new Odyssey movie coming out. My entire opinion of this movie will hinge on this 😆

Resurrecting my twitter account to complain about depictions of The Odyssey when the suitors have to shoot an arrow through 12 axe heads…and then they show some nonsense like this.