EmptyBee

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EmptyBee

EmptyBee

@BennettEmpty

Dad who loves to write in his "free" time. See my book: https://t.co/PX6MotsKr9

Katılım Haziran 2019
708 Takip Edilen2.1K Takipçiler
Sabitlenmiş Tweet
EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
I did not memorize the brachial plexus just to stay silent when a movie action hero is shot in the shoulder with zero consequences.
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
@HumeralO Gotta get in on this! Are you looking for investors!?!?! Wait…my student loans…. Is the entry point for investing around $10?
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Glen O'Humeral
Glen O'Humeral@HumeralO·
Retirement plan: an old-timey candle company called The Olfactory Ole Factory.
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
Lex Luthor: you will never stop the bomb! Superman: Think again Luthor! *Superman blasts off at the speed of light. His body traveling that fast creates intense friction in the air around him. The atmosphere literally ignites, burning every living thing*
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SMBC Comics
SMBC Comics@SMBCComics·
After generations of family adventures, Sawyer Lee is determined to sink in the couch! Regrettably, it will take quite a lot of energy for him to escape the mysteries, conspiracies, and gourd-based festivities the town throws his way. us.macmillan.com/books/97803743… w/ @MacKidsBooks
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
Sharing another poem and doodle #poetry @BennettEmpty/bodies-in-the-walls-d91484f3b937?sk=46f2038438e7402261e497621be823b8" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">medium.com/@BennettEmpty/…
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
@HumeralO “Uhmmm…yes…i see…and he bonked his head…yes I see ma’am…yeah…i would prescribe no more monkeys jumping on the bed…no ma’am I’m not going to test for concussion…well you see you called a doctor when you should have called a veterinarian.”
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Glen O'Humeral
Glen O'Humeral@HumeralO·
The doctor on the phone with the mamma for the third time after yet another little monkey fell off the bed and hit their head
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
My 8 yo rolled his eyes at this one. I love it.
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Goodreads
Goodreads@goodreads·
What's the scariest book you've ever read? 👻
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
🎶bleeding isn’t in my blood🎶 Me: The Huntrix team have excellent clotting factors
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
My 5 yo niece: Uncle Empty, why does your watch have a clock on it? Me:…i feel so old…
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
@LJTafeMD I appreciate your encouragement a lot. Thanks.
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
*10 seconds before grilling was invented* Guy: Cooking would be more fun if I was also getting sunburnt
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
My 4 yo: Dad, what happens when you die… Me: uh, well 4 yo:…in Minecraft? Me: Oh thank goodness.
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Glen O'Humeral
Glen O'Humeral@HumeralO·
My patient when I tell them we have a trick to get them out of SVT
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EmptyBee
EmptyBee@BennettEmpty·
Someone asked my 8 yo what he wants to be when he grows up and he said, “A dad” Me: 🥰
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