Bismac

real😂😂

@PATRIOT2117 Real FAFO 😂😂

An elderly man accidentally rear-ended a brand-new sports car. The young driver jumped out, furious. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY CAR! You owe me $10,000 right now, or I’m going to beat you half to death!” The old man looked shaken. “Oh my goodness,” he said. “I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call my son — he trains dolphins. He’ll know what to do.” “DOLPHINS?” the guy scoffed, rolling his eyes. The old man dialed his phone. Before he could say a word, the angry driver grabbed it. “So you’re a dolphin trainer, huh?” he barked into the phone. “Well your old man just wrecked my car. I need ten grand RIGHT NOW — or I’m going to beat BOTH of you to a pulp!” A calm voice replied, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Exactly ten minutes later… ...a Jeep screeched to a stop. A man stepped out, walked straight up to the bully, and absolutely flattened him, leaving him groaning on the pavement. Then the man turned to his father and said, “Dad… for the LAST time. I train seals. Navy seals. Not dolphins.”

@TrollFootball Y'all didn't see this? 😂🤣🤣

Premier League title race

🚨📊 Most succesful dribbles per 90 minutes in Europe.

Landscaping And Hardscaping Oddly Satisfying.

SET A FUCKING DEADLINE

Gotta eat pasta in italy, croissant in paris, burger in united states, sushi in japan, tacos in mexico, shawarma in lebanon, paella in spain, poutine in canada, kimchi in south korea, curry in india, pho in vietnam, fondue in switzerland and fish & chips in united kingdom.

This is one of the greatest videos on the internet

@TouchmineX @Marca_ Fake news

🚨𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚: There is a genuine possibility that Real Madrid could make a move for Pep Guardiola once Manchester City’s league title campaign concludes.😳 Guardiola is understood to be open to the project. ✨ @Marca_

@FabrizioRomano Fuck 💔

🚨🔵 John Stones, expected to leave Manchester City in the summer as free agent. 31 year old defender wants to help until the end of the season and then expected to go after making history at #MCFC. Bernardo and Stones, both leaving in June 👋🏼 🎥➕ youtu.be/W6Y106WBij0

Even when things feel chaotic, life is still subtly moving in your favour

@pepstrickyblues Fuck no

If City win the domestic treble and Spain win the WC, give Rodri another ballondor.

@Yoga_Queen01 Nobody digs 6 feet to bury a pig. You'll be easily get caught 😂

Disturbing Things I’ve Learned From Watching Crime Movies: 1. If you intend to commit crimes like murder, robbery, or theft, always wear shoes smaller than your size. This will accomplish two things: i) It will leave a shoe print that is not size. ii) Any eye witness will describe the murderer or robber as someone with a limp. 2. If you try to dispose a body by burying it, dig the hole at least 8 ft deep. Place the corpse at the bottom, cover it with several layers of soil, then position a dead animal ( preferably a pig) around the 6 ft mark before you finally cover up. But if you decide to dump the body in a river, then you need to vertically cut it open from chest to navel point. Because if you just dump it like that, the body builds up gases which usually causes corpse to swell and rise to the top of the water after some days. 3. Buy whatever supplies you need for the crime 1 - 2 months ahead of the D-day. Never purchase everything from the same store, and always pay in cash. 4. Always put on extra clothes including gloves. 5. Never take your main phone to the crime scene. Also, on the day of the crime, share your live location with a friend while leaving your phone at home. 6. Don’t hire a hit man for the job. Do it yourself, and leave no traces. 7. Use bleach preferably Hydrogen peroxide, Ammonia, & Chlorine bleach to clean off blood stains. Sprinkle iron powder after wiping off. 8. Never leave witnesses, even if it’s a kid. (Sadly) 9. Learn to shut your mouth and keep up with your daily routine after the crime. 10. Don’t always feel like you have to help strangers along the road. Even a nice old woman can be dangerous. 11. Before getting into your car, always check the backseat and truck. 12. Lock your doors as soon as you get into your house or car. 13. Avoid routines that make your daily movements too predictable. Always change your routes and timing. 14. Always keep your phone charged. 15. Keep emergency contacts easy to reach and memorise at least one number in case your phone is unavailable. 16. Avoid using headphones or AirPods in crowded, busy, or lonely areas. 17. Don’t immediately take off to your house especially if you feel you’re being followed. 18. Always share your live location with any trusted person. 19. If the victim was your partner, neighbor, family, or friend, don’t get too involved with trying to help the police investigate the case. Allow them do their job, else you become the suspect. 20. Always make your home look occupied whenever you’re away. N.B .. I’m sharing this as a personal opinion shaped by scenes I’ve seen in films over time. I do not advise or support any illegal act, including the concealment of crimes or disposal of human remains. Such conduct carries serious legal consequences.

@__________dja @TheFootyFeed Hate to break it to you. You mofos are utterly jealous of our success. Ask yourself, why haven't the PL put sanctions on us? Because there's nothing

1 because Arsenal fans are insufferable 2 because no one outside Manchester has to deal with Man City fans, where as Arsenal fans have migrated to every corner of the country 3 because most of us acknowledge that city probably broke the rules, so it’s actually kind of easy to dismiss their success as “meaningless”

Why do you think this is the case 🤔

@TheFootyFeed Has been? 10+ years? Are hateful people naturally dumb? Wtf 😂

@Chueks @staffy_tv @KalshiEPL Come for an ice cream, little princess 😂

@staffy_tv @KalshiEPL Also didn't have the performance-enhanced unlimited and corrupted money from their also corrupted owners (in Shitty). Serial cheaters.

🚨Pep Guardiola is one league title away from equalling Alex Ferguson’s record in Europe’s top 5 leagues, achieving it in 12 fewer years.

@TheFigen_ Soo cool watching this

This is one coolest stage performances.

@OpenledgerHQ Plants 🪴 and animals need care too

The reply thats gets 0 likes receives surpise reward DM. Winner announced in 24 hours 🐙

if your thoughts get too big, go somewhere you feel small.