Brian Strain

@cosmicjester How would he know that she was green?

Weird they Matt Murdock never mentions that he was in a brief situationship with a giant green woman

@Larawithabird Are you wearing a Tension Sheet?

I just posted the weirdest shoot (sorry, no vag for free on Twitter)

@AlexxxCoal "Men live longer when they're married, women live shorter lives when they're married." This is true even in situations with zero violence or abuse. Women sacrifice their time, bodies, freedom and happiness to provide free emotional and domestic labour for men. It's a tragedy.

More than 80% of intimate partner homicide victims are women. Just under 95% of all sexual violence in the United States is committed by men. The majority of people creating C-SAM in the United States are white men. Why do you think there's a male loneliness epidemic? My last partner threatened to kill me, twice, in order to get me to have sex with him on camera. I had to text my agent to let her know that if he did kill me it wasn't an accident. I decided after that, dating is not worth risking my life. Men are still trying to convince me that I should go back to dating, because they're selfish. Men live longer when they're married, women live shorter lives when they're married. The happiest demographic in the United States is single women. Single women live longer happier lives. Choose yourself.

@stevendeknight I count at least two puns. Perhaps even three.

We’re a bit long in the tooth. I’d love to see new blood take a whack at it. (Pun intended.)

@JadeBlairxox Five phones? I can understand why you'd need at least two phones; one for work, one for civilian life. Can't think why you'd need the other three though.

What I do for work vs what I tell people I do for work

@cheekymz Homophone hat-trick

I’ve been to Manchester twice and it was two times too many.

@itsbighonkin The Steve Miller Band song?

Abracadabra may not have won song of the year at the Grammys but it definitely won song of the year in my home

@TheChanelCamryn Hat-trick

I just realized each of my holes have won an award 🥹 That’s so freaking cool 🥳

I love how strong my teeth feel when I eat cheese

@operation_rosie Well you say you expected more from the host of "The Man Show" but the other host was Jimmy Kimmel. I wonder what is was that caused their paths to diverge.

According to his own subreddit 11 years ago "chose not to work" meant *shock* working on his business and looking after the home. I expected more from the host of the television program called 'The Man Show' that ended every episode with "the juggy girls" dancing on trampolines

@itsbighonkin Aye

Should I make them listen to horsegiirL

@stevendeknight Is this guy trying to explain Superman to one of the Smallville writers?

You really don’t understand Superman at all. Off you go.

@LittleMissLizz @Oscar_R_Geeho2 Your top made me think of the Wallace Collection song instead.

@Oscar_R_Geeho2 Yes! I used the song on Instagram earlier :)

It’s a good day for a daydream.

@danilic @dailytelegraph The Muppet erroneously identified as Michaelia Cash is a dentist, so this may go some way towards making amends.

#Exclusive - A company run by Dan Ilic, which received $588k from Climate 200 in the 2022 election, has removed dozens of images attacking the Coalition on Instagram. Mr Ilic explains why ▶️ bit.ly/4iqIvnM Get the biggest stories first with The Daily Telegraph app: onelink.to/kysqh4

@thena_love @thena_love" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">youtube.com/@thena_love

When you google me, (Thena Love) what’s the first link that comes up? For research purposes 🕶️

@LittleMissLizz I already had that dream last week. You were leaping across menhirs as if you were Æon Flux.

Normalize letting me enter your dreams at night so I can crawl into your brain & whisper to your subconscious about how fucking cool you are.

@m_unda @LittleMissLizz Not all Muppets wear pants.

@LittleMissLizz Also, whats wrong about dressing like a muppet? I would take it as a compliment.

@stevendeknight Just wait. This time next year it will have been rebranded as the Gulf of Pepsi Cola.

Agreed. Plus it will always be the Gulf of Mexico to me.

@stevendeknight "Defend Racism"

Are they changing it to MORE RACISM in honor of Trump?

@byowife He's glowing

and yes me and mark sheppard are expecting

being very brave rn posting myself from my pre-braces era LOL, saved up all my bakers delight money for these $200 pics then cried all the way home on the bus bc i felt grotesque and then hid them in a book forever lmfao. thank u orthodentistry for the bad bitch i was meant to be