Britney Stone

@AdelheidMonroe And often taken advantage of. And the child is the one being used in the scenario and will no doubt suffer because of it.

@Brit_Stone They’re smart.

I have a different perspective. As someone likely closer in years to being a MIL than a postpartum DIL. What if you DO have a horrible mean DIL that doesn’t want you to come for 3 months, while her entire extended family was over there immediately afterwards. She only wants you to stay for 3 days and they were there for a week. Do you complain to your son, do you write your DIL long messages about how this isn’t fair. Do you send your husband to talk sense to your son. NO you don’t. You adjust your expectations. Your relationship with your DIL is not good, that might be all her fault, but that’s who your son is married to, and that’s the mother of your grand children. The BEST thing you can do is be kind and respectful of her and hope and pray that the relationship improves with time. None of the above behaviors will improve your relationship.

@MuskTillDawn She also has had I think 4 kids? Not saying that’s indicative of looking “old” either but it doesn’t generally take a toll on a woman. I think that adds to why ppl find her appearance impressive I guess? Idk 🤷‍♀️ I get the overall point you’re making though and tend to agree

Yes Hilary Duff looks amazing but the astonishment at her age……..why do you people act like 38 is a senior citizen age? Totally normal for someone in their late 30s to be insanely hot

@EllieandEjsmom Do we not think women can have toxic parents too???

“I just don’t understand why moms would want to keep their kids from their in-laws. It’s so selfish I don’t get it!!” 🙄🙄🙄🙄 read the threads of all these posts guys Then you’ll get it. Easily

@lumberflunky @Saruhhhhhhhh__ This is the issue. I don’t think he’s evil but he absolutely was acting misogynistic in the way he reacted to baileys joke vs the multiple jokes that were similar and said by men.

@Saruhhhhhhhh__ Nobody hated Ben. But let’s not forget what occurred. The boys make the same joke and poor girl gets screamed at by Ben. He apologized, sure. But you don’t speak to women like that, especially Bailey who really did nothing wrong besides repeat a joke that obviously had truth.

And that’s why I like Ben. He checked the two Karen’s on the show. One thought her tears would save her and the other thought playing dumb would save her. Ben said, NOT ON MY WATCH! #summerhouse

@mariachong @themom_katie @korinreid Yeah I didn’t even want my mother in the delivery room and we are very close. My in-laws meeting the baby a few days later however was a wonderful moment, and I imagine even more so for my husband who also had just had a huge life event!

@themom_katie @Brit_Stone @korinreid That poor OP. She made it very clear her comments were about after delivery, even at home. The delivery room question is completely different and most women would be uncomfortable.

I think the MIL wanting to be in the delivery room discourse is interesting, b/c although my own mother was in the room for two of my children, I don't think she would have asked to be in there, because she has boundaries. I asked her to be there.

@HormoneHangover I lived on a 3rd floor apartment when mine was newborn and struggled with this as well. I did it once or twice but ultimately the anxiety it cause made me not do it more. I also had PPA sooo that didn’t help lol

I like to make a run to the basement laundry room when my baby is napping in a crib in my ~9th floor apartment. Is that okay or nah

@korinreid @mariachong We couldn’t do to rules but I’m sure I would have been okay w/ them coming for a short time. I got very little sleep during the (I think 2?) days I was there after birth and it had nothing to do with visitors and everything to do with bad night care. That’s a different issue lol

@Brit_Stone @mariachong Oh yes!! This is something I really appreciated my in-laws doing. They made a meal comprised of things I couldn't have during pregnancy, which was sweet. But I def saw them at the hospital also.

@korinreid @themom_katie @mariachong lol that’s insane. It’s also not the normal reaction and very clearly an outlier.

@Brit_Stone @themom_katie @mariachong Apparently, it was on the Today show, also. today.com/parents/pregna…

@themom_katie @korinreid @mariachong The only post like that I’ve seen. Almost no one is arguing for anyone to be in the birthing room if the mom doesn’t want it.

@korinreid @Brit_Stone @mariachong Agreed 😂 I don’t think there’s a large contingent of MILs insisting to watch their DILs give birth anyway. I’m sure they’re out there, but they’re the outliers.

@jenanamericngal @staceyrue1 Talking about the entire discourse which started from ppl purposefully misunderstanding the initial intention.

@Brit_Stone @staceyrue1 Well, if you’re talking about me I’ve been very clear I’m against the extremes…. My post was addressing a different aspect that you looked over.

I’m way too pregnant for this discourse, but seriously how are we complaining about birth rates while simultaneously telling women to just suck it up & let people walk all over them after birth? Postpartum is not about anyone but mom & baby. I say this as someone who is 🧵

@themom_katie @mariachong @korinreid I would love to see one post like that, because I’ve seen none lol. That is crazy

@Brit_Stone @mariachong @korinreid You’ve definitely missed the manyyyy women saying MIL needs to be in the literal delivery room if mom is 😅 But yes the original post that started this was not advocating for that and totally reasonable. Crazy folks took it to the extreme

@korinreid @mariachong I had my son during peak covid so only one visitor and it was my mom and everyone was fine with that! I didn’t want anyone but my husband for delivery. My in-laws brought dinner the evening (or maybe next I forget) after we got home and stayed for like an hour. It was all fine 🤷‍♀️

@Brit_Stone @mariachong It definitely must have gotten off the rails. My personal thoughts are that, of course, I had my in-laws in the hospital shortly after birth, but in the future, w/ my kids, I'll probably have to hold space for the fact that everyone's postpartum experience is different

@mariachong @korinreid Yeah it was literally never delivery room discourse. People turned it into that cause the original post was completely reasonable and they still didn’t like that so they warped it into something extreme. Literally no one is fighting for mil to be in the delivery room lol

@korinreid Wasn’t this about timing for letting normal, healthy in-laws come see a new baby, so they don’t feel left out? Not originally about being in delivery room but I guess some people have gone off on a tangent.

The funniest part of this discourse is that the women saying they MUST hold their baby at all times and decide who gets to see them, and the baby is THEIRS moral than their husbands, are gonna become the exact MIL that they call toxic and hate!

@avygal My friends ex has a mother like this. But I also think the women saying the baby is THEIRS and not anyone else’s immediately after birth and they need to be holding them at all times and control who’s sees them etc, are on the road to becoming that exact kind of MIL too 🤷‍♀️

I think the discourse we really need to have on mom twitter is why so many moms of boys become enmeshed with their sons to the point of sabotaging their son’s marriage.

@avygal @katerynparr No one is talking about that lol. I have seen no comments suggesting that at all 😂

@katerynparr People are talking about needing to allow your MIL in the birthing room, which is completely unhinged

@staceyrue1 @jenanamericngal Thank you! The extremists are acting like “protecting their peace” means months of mom getting whatever she wants and a free pass to be rude. Be reasonable and it’s simple. Also if your in-laws are toxic this doesn’t apply! Make a decision with your spouse and communicate!

@jenanamericngal I don’t think anybody’s making a big deal about that if you have a plan for after birth, please just let your family know what that plan is. If you want hole up for two weeks etc, do that. When you are ready to show the world please show to your spouses family too it’s not hard

@childofgoddess2 @jenanamericngal lol you think it’s the non trad wife’s pushing that the baby must be attached to mom all the time at first? 🤔

@jenanamericngal Because misogynistic tradwives and patriarchy bros hate women and think that motherhood shouldn't be honored at all, women should just it without question

@keirimin @cactusncookies @legend034 That was not the OG post at all.

@cactusncookies @legend034 Thats not fair- the OG post was she wanted her family around the first few weeks to help. It was heavily implied that's because husbands fam wouldn't & would have been more work for the tired new mom to host. Just there to see baby, no help Completely understandable and yet...

Watching the whole debate about parents coming to visit their sons new baby after birth, I’m just grateful my daughters-in-law treat me with kindness and aren’t using the birth of their baby as a method of control and some weird power struggle. My son tells us their plan for only them being with the baby immediately after birth for an hour or two. We respect it and come as soon as they are ready. We keep the visit semi short so mama can nurse her new baby and rest as much as possible. It’s not that hard, people.