vinnie the pooh

“Who do you think I am, Betty spaghetti?” “Brianna Lasagna” Oh

I hate this fucking planet

It seems kind of diabolical for @UberEats to offer a free item just to not deliver your item and then tell you they’re not going to replace it because it’s free when millions of people are facing in food insecurity at this time

@gshuizenga tell your dad to stop hiding like a child and face the people he’s meant to represent

This is how climate change will be covered by media outlets with a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.

@immenseheft You sure you just noticed it and it didn’t just show up?

A $0.03 residual check for Mr. Johnson?! #AbbottElementary

It is wild to me how much hating fat people occupies so much of some people’s brains lmao

Naming your child in such a way that it commits to the bit

My cat has a truly unreasonable desire for Greek yogurt

A pregnancy is "full term" at 39-40 weeks, and “late term” at 41 weeks. Anti-abortion groups use “late-term ” to describe abortions at 15 or 20 weeks because they're all about scaring, shaming, and lying to people.

Sobbing into my food because facebook showed me that sad poem about the two headed calf again.

@jacobasharpe Telling my kids this was ICP

i hope everyone is having a happy world goth day

@marilene_taylor @weirwoodtreehug @ACLU_MS Apparently it’s not just pronouns y’all can’t manage, it’s also adjectives

@marilene_taylor @weirwoodtreehug @ACLU_MS Do you get upset when people notice you’re a brunette too? No one asked you if you identify as a brunette. Shut up

BREAKING: Late last night, a judge ruled that Harrison County Schools can bar our client, a trans girl, from attending her high school graduation unless she wears boy’s clothes - socks, dress shoes, pants, a button down shirt and tie.

Sometimes when I’m sad I remember my MIL has a 3 wise monkeys style happy bunny tramp stamp as her only tattoo and that cheers me up for like a week

@_caseyydilla No 💖

@_caseyydilla Millipedes are cute sorry to tell you

I swear I run into a new species of bug every day when I walk my dog. The south is wild

I literally just want my shitty apartment shower yo stay the same temp for 5 minutes