THE BUCHER

@GovMurphy 💯

4:20 PM. Time to legalize it.

FLATBUSH: A pair of inspectors, apparently clueless what to look for, first wrote a summons and then walk around Shaare Torah School and find empty rooms. The schools is CLOSED.

“You should be ashamed,” a father tells his young son. “When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school.”Really?” the son responds. “Well, when he was your age, he was president.”

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?" Student: "My father's check book!" ⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉

One way to find out if you are old is to fall down in front of a lot of people. If they laugh, you are still young. If they panic and start running to you, you are old.

Walks upstairs, "Why am I up here?" Walks back downstairs, "I remember now"

That annoying moment when you have to remove your headphones because you think someone is talking to you.😁

Before the clock strikes midnight on Dec. 31 be sure to lift your left leg. That way you’ll start off the New Year on the right foot.😉

Did you know that English language was born in England, it then grew in USA, got sick in Africa and died in India!

If you're waiting in a restaurant does that make you the waiter??

A bad attitude is like a flat tire you can't get any far until you change it

@realDonaldTrump What how big?

Something very big has just happened!

The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. You can't learn anything from being perfect #qoutes

Start every phone call with my phone is about to die that way you can hang up whenever you get bored

Listen to the advice of older people. Not because they're right, but because they have the most experience being wrong. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━ #inspiration

When I get a headache I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the Bottle says

You don't lose friends you lose undercover haters REAL FRIENDS can never be lost #Quotes #inspirational

The three hardest things to say are: 1. I was wrong 2. I need help. 3 Worcestershiresauce

Shout out to all the customers at the laundromat talkin on there iPhone x or S10 you could have gotten a washer and dryer for $800

Surviving in New York City requires like two jobs. and a little fraud on the side...