Squirrel Matador
45.8K posts
Squirrel Matador
@BudLightSadness
tent stake enjoyer, whisperer of chickens, Ambassador Plenipotentiary of Good Decisions and Ideas
Hush’s Traphouse Katılım Eylül 2022
1.7K Takip Edilen47.3K Takipçiler
I live in a clock now. Umbrellas and blimps and shit.
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Only smuggling Newports to England because I am petty and I think it would be hilarious
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Let me tell you a story about aspirin
Eric Feigl-Ding@DrEricDing
NOT FUN FACT—half of all U.S. war casualties during WWI were due to influenza. Today—Trump’s War Secretary remove the flu vaccine requirement for all U.S. military. Plus, bragging about this to all enemies is just absolute idiocy.
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GIF
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@BudLightSadness They didn't say anything about cigars or pipe tobacco
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we about to make so much money smuggling cigarettes to this shithole
Visegrád 24@visegrad24
BREAKING: The UK passes lifelong ban on buying tobacco and vapes for everyone born after 2008. The law, meant to create “a smoke-free generation, will come into effect in 2027
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@BudLightSadness No, those skinny lady cigarettes would be funnier
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Pretty sure she got criminal charges still pending so everyone can calm down just a tad
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If I’m catfishing my husband on a dating site (why was she looking?), he’s gonna show up and meet my process server 😆 not me.
All his shit would be out and the locks changed when he got back.
Dom Lucre | Breaker of Narratives@dom_lucre
🔥🚨RECENT: This woman catfished her husband by making a Tinder account and getting him to drive two hours to meet who he thought he would be cheating on his wife with only to find out it was her who was waiting for him.
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Desperados got their doors kicked by the Federal Gov because they was running dope and hoes and it was like the worst kept secret ever
Joe_Salem_Author@Joe_SalemAuthor
@BudLightSadness Girl at Desperados in Lafayette sexily takes off her top, blows smoke in my face Me: dies coughing, can't see for five minutes. Well, that was $20 wasted.
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Dearest Lord thank you for the funniest thing ever on a Tuesday
U.S. Department of Justice@TheJusticeDept
🚨HAPPENING NOW: Justice Department announces indictment against Southern Poverty Law Center ("SPLC"). Our indictment alleges SPLC secretly funneled MORE THAN $3 MILLION in funds to members of white supremacist and extremist groups.
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And drilling hands that became bosses know exactly fuck all about production
“Sir…we can’t do that”
-why
“It’s technically illegal.”
-it’s dark isn’t it?
“…”
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@BudLightSadness The guys that can smoke a whole joe without ever taking it out of their mouth, built different.
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Non smokers have never experienced the pain of smoke going directly into your eye and you blind for about 10 seconds
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Once you actually get hired by Big Oil it’s kind of hard to actually get fired u less you wave your dick at the HR lady or something
Captain James Heise@OvertempMarine
@BudLightSadness Step into my office, because you’re fired.
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If a dude from South Africa says, “we about to get western with it”?
This is a sign that we about to bend some CFR rules
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