Mel & The BA Team

@TheLegacyOfLeo I'm here #babylosshour

Welcome to tonight's #BabyLossHour - who is around? Don't forget to add the hashtag to all your tweets & replies!

Thank you to Mel Scott and the organising committee at the @ButterflyAwards. Such amazing honour to have won the special recognition award tonight. Can’t really believe it!! Thanks so much #babyloss #butterflyawards

@HopeHouseKids @SandsUK @BetsiCadwaladr @ClwydTweets Fantastic evening at @ButterflyAwards in Warwickshire #RaisingAwarenessOfBabyLossThroughTheatre with Dancing in the Wings, starting it’s tour at @ClwydTweets in February 2020

Unforgettable evening in Warwickshire yesterday with @ButterflyAwards Brave inspiring people. Huge honour to speak and show excerpts from Dancing in the Wings so humbled by the positive feedback. Thanks for inviting us. You’re all amazing #RaisingAwarenessOfBabyLossThroughTheatre

Loved @SimonovaTV on @BGT #BritainsGotTalent we'd love to have her perform at The Butterfly Awards , beautiful moving performance style

@preciouslilppl @leighakendall @jenwhatling @TheLegacyOfLeo I was turned away from helping sands several times, which is why i set up my own things. I already had ptsd before losing finley, I needed distraction from the trauma. Yes, maybe it just deferred the grief - but I survived and have achieved alot during my time of healing

@leighakendall @jenwhatling @TheLegacyOfLeo I had a similar response from my local Sands group at first - I understand they were trying to look after me but I felt incredibly frustrated - I think when you have empty arms you can be left feeling so empty & detached without anything positive to fill your time #babylosshour

Any advice for looking after yourself when you are also working hard to support others? Loss and grief is hard but helping others on top of that can be even harder. #BabyLossHour

@leighakendall @ForJoaquim @TheLegacyOfLeo @jenwhatling @AchingArms 10 years on & i am back in therapy again, it hurts as much as ever

@CorrinaGB @slummyUSmummy @MarcHarder @FivewaysNP @EKHUFTMaternity Ours was mostly funded by parents, local charities and the hospital charity/donations received to the bereavement suite fund.

@slummyUSmummy @MarcHarder @FivewaysNP @EKHUFTMaternity Wow. I see what is meant by bereavement suite. Was that funded by parents or by the trust? #BabyLossHour

@CorrinaGB @MarcHarder @TheLegacyOfLeo @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @FivewaysNP I have seen TFMR used by parents, when it is also for medical reasons affecting the mum.

@MarcHarder @TheLegacyOfLeo @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @FivewaysNP Are the acronyms TOPFA and TFMR interchangeable or is there a difference? #BabyLossHour

@TheLegacyOfLeo @collinge1717 @MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @CorrinaGB @FivewaysNP Even when the training is provided, it takes a huge attitude shift. #BabyLossHour

@collinge1717 @MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @CorrinaGB @FivewaysNP Given that the level of incidence is so much higher, why do you think the training isn't there? #BabyLossHour

@CorrinaGB @fauziapaize @TheLegacyOfLeo @MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @FivewaysNP private space, access to scans and info 24/7 not wait until after the weekend, single rooms so dont have to miscarry with a curtain round you, options and respect for memory making if they wish. parents miscarrying at home to have one of our home care kits #BabyLossHour

@fauziapaize @TheLegacyOfLeo @MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @FivewaysNP I’ve thought a lot about this. What would be your ideal scenario of care for a woman miscarrying? #BabyLossHour

@TheLegacyOfLeo @fauziapaize @MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @CorrinaGB @FivewaysNP This was my experience too. Our local epac doesnt even have a private space to sob in after you get the news. #BabyLossHour

@fauziapaize @MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @merrymunky @CorrinaGB @FivewaysNP Absolutely - having experienced both, aspects of my m/c care were more traumatising that my s/b experience. #BabyLossHour

@MarcHarder @MedNeg_Wolfies @CorrinaGB @FivewaysNP How is that planned to be tackled? It would be important to standardise location contents & resources available, but i think decor & appearance should be decided by local people not branded centrally #BabyLossHour

@TheLegacyOfLeo @sammyjtaylor1 @MarcHarder @KingsCollegeNHS at the same time some hospitals don't have a suite, some hospitals refurbish a suite less than 3 years old, after @TabithasTrust funded it, without even including them in the redesign. a more joined up approach and a way to find out what happens locally is needed #babylosshour

@sammyjtaylor1 @MarcHarder @KingsCollegeNHS This breaks me. I've heard of similar happening at our hospital - staff shortages closing the suites. When at the same time improvements like #NBCP are happening in the country. Seems so counterproductive. #BabyLossHour

@CorrinaGB @abcdefgeorg @MarcHarder @FivewaysNP @BTHFT I'm so sorry, it is so unacceptable that your experience would be different in other places. Finley is 10 now, and despite the massive shift in last couple of years, things are still not consistent #babylosshour.

@abcdefgeorg @MarcHarder @FivewaysNP @BTHFT A bed for partners is so important. Basic, really. Grieving + discomfort at night and sleep deprivation isn’t an ideal combination. My wife Sam only had a chair for the four days from admittance to Alfie’s arrival. #BabyLossHour

@MarcHarder I'm surprised that 87% provided ongoing access to support, i thought it would be much lower. It seems lower in my experience of people accessing our charity. #babylosshour

@CorrinaGB @MarcHarder @FivewaysNP This is the one my charity @TT_Together refurbished, we stayed here with finley 10 years ago, but it was a clinical room then. tsft.nhs.uk/about-your-hos…

@MarcHarder @FivewaysNP Reading through this now, thanks. There’s no bereavement room at the Rosie (Cambridge) to my knowledge. I gave birth in a regular delivery room. How would a bereavement room differ? #BabyLossHour

@CorrinaGB @MarcHarder @FivewaysNP It is cosy, less clinical, has all the resources needed for a loss situation, and careful thought about any non relevant equipment etc. It has a double bed for partners to stay. It is usually quiet & away from other babys #babylosshour

@MarcHarder HI Marc I'm mel, I organise the butterfly awards each year, and wrote @FinleyFootprint and run @TT_Together

yes! I remembered #babylosshour again! woohoo getting better at this