Christopher Dunn

@professorbellab Many churches do indeed smell like a musty Balzac.

My God is basically Honoré de Balzac.

So what does God look like to you?

@professorbellab Do you think they'll want a picture, too? I'm happy to draw them one.

@CDunn1866 Do I need to call campus security?

I refuse to email. I prefer penmanship. Ink on your fingers is a sign of human effort.

@professorbellab Fair. I might even draw a demented picture in the margins.

@CDunn1866 So let's compromise. If you think you're going to ambush me tomorrow, then slip a note under my door today.

@professorbellab Apologies for that, but I can't change what I hate…and I hate email.

@CDunn1866 So this is why you never email me before you show up at my office?

If the freshmen know this is their teacher, they're bound to fill up my Monday morning class, don't you think?

@professorbellab You look nothing like this in class. I demand a refund.

I tell my students good writers don't describe their characters with much. But today! Today I'm ignoring my own advice to describe myself.

@professorbellab Not yet. Stay safe out there.

@CDunn1866 Hold on now. I'm seeing the doctor a lot these days, and mental syphilis is definitely not on my list of maladies.

Twitter is for people who are terrified by the idea of solitude. It's cheap haiku for the overly caffeinated.

@professorbellab Followings don't emerge overnight, so I'd better get used to this petri dish of mental syphilis.

@CDunn1866 So you're laying the groundwork for your future career?

@professorbellab I'm only here because all writers have to use Twitter if they want to be taken seriously. The publishing moguls demand a platform.

@CDunn1866 Using Twitter to disparage Twitter, I see.

@professorbellab Tough but fair.

@CDunn1866 Then I'm calling campus security. I can't have "Light Years" intruded upon.

I teach literature, but there are some #books I love too much to share with students. I want them all for myself. What are yours?

@professorbellab Absolutely not.

@CDunn1866 Did the student book office hours through the online system?

@professorbellab But what if a student showed up on your doorstep, demanding to discuss it?

James Salter's Light Years is a meal I want all to myself. I'll never teach it to my students, even though I read it every year.