Corey Smock

@Tess_McBreezy @PDXYelp My son got naked in the middle of OMSI last week so this actually seems great

🤔🤔🤔

most dad thing ever is having your phone charge at night in a room that you’re not even in

Best, Corey Smock *Please excuse any brevity, typos, grammatical errors, underwhleming ideas, missed deadlines, emotional outbursts and in general a complete misalignment on expectations from the very beginning of this project as this was sent from my iPhone.

@AsherVOI @WorldWideWob @UnderdogFantasy Don’t take it personally. I’m the one who lost 😜

+600 Pick Em slip is in @UnderdogFantasy if you’d like to join, fade, or play along ⬇️ play.underdogfantasy.com/es-KeRm03MNZg big slate - good luck to everyone tonight!

@ShaynaPilnick I did the same thing last night. Built a fake me out of pillows and a duvet on the floor so he would think I was still there if he woke up. I was like a teenager sneaking out of my parents house.

I’m closing out the day crouched on my daughter’s bedroom floor trying to figure out how I’m sneaking out while she’s sleeping in hopes i don’t wake her. Putting a baby back to sleep after nightmare wake up is like diffusing a bomb.

Wore jeans to a video conference today felt like I was dressing up for a wedding

Unfortunately though he was on mute.

Very special moment. Our 18 month old son just said his first full sentence. It was, “Can everyone see my screen?”

Sometimes I rub dirt all over my jeans before I go into Home Depot just so people think im really getting after it

When you reach a certain age you just start coming out of your bedroom in the morning fully dressed for the day

Trimmed the neighbor’s hedges and in return she baked us a pie. This completes my onboarding into the suburban economy. May clean the gutters if cookies are on the table.

There’s a direct correlation between how long you’ve lived in this neighborhood and how much you dislike me listening to No Ceilings while trimming the azaleas

Wow just when you think your wife son and dog don’t listen to you try telling a fruit fly to get out of your kitchen. Smh

Neighbor just asked if I needed any help with the gardening, which im interpreting as extreme sarcasm. Dave, Please consider yourself removed from all neighborhood email comms and baked goods distribution. Sincerely, Your worst nightmare

Wow never realized this but having kids on your lawn is, in fact, quite frustrating would like them to get off

Bought a house and now cannot stop watering the grass. It is my passion, my calling and my one true love.

@ShaynaPilnick For one, it’s not relaxing 😂

A relaxing, rainy Sunday is sooo different with a 6 month old.

Sometimes I get an email from a brand or newsletter I completely forgot about Its like hey I remeber you guys and i appreciate you not flooding my inbox all the time! also... unsubscribe

@pwells I raise you

this is not idal