Calvin 'Emeka Onwuka

".... I came round in ICU and then later my phone was given to me. First thing I did was send a text to a friend. Have we signed Michael Carrick yet?" aclsports.com/laughter-leath… #LLandL

Arsenal fans on my TL, please send me a Voice Note via DM of how this win feels. It is for #YourSportsMemo Podcast. I would have loved to have many of you on the show but Voice Note from y'all is the next best way. Start with your name and where you are. Thank you. 6pm latest.

Me: trying to return package at Japanese post office. Employee: Do you have the form? Me: ...possibly. I hand her three unrelated receipts, a train ticket, and what might've been a noodle coupon. Employee studies documents with incredible professionalism. Employee: This is from convenience store. Me: Right. Employee: And this is train station. Me: Also correct. Employee: And this... long pause. Employee: ...coupon for karaoke. Me: I was going through a lot emotionally. woman trying SO HARD not to laugh. finally she gives me correct form. entire thing in Japanese. Me staring at paper like ancient curse tablet. Employee: It's okay. I help. for next ten minutes this woman basically carried me academically through the Japanese postal system. at the end I bow respectfully and say: Thank you for your patience. Employee: No problem. You had strong confusion. Honestly one of the most accurate descriptions of my life.

@fwmarqix @yetitweets "Strong confusion" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for this!

@camelot316 I am going to respond because it is you and we vibe normal here. With Vini and Neymar in the squad, that left side is pretty much sorted. That is why I am surprised another left-sided player is chosen instead of Joao Pedro.

@CalvinEmeka Martinelli and Pedro are dissimilar. Between Matheus Cunha and Igor Thiago, Pedro's would-be role has been well covered in the squad. Someone had to miss out.

Joao Pedro is not in Brazil's World Cup squad?.😳😳 Gabriel Martinelli is in that squad. How did Don Carlo explain this?

@abwales I think you have a wrong handle for this slant of this discussion. What is "your Cunha"? I do not take club affiliation into national teams' discussion.

@CalvinEmeka Even your Cunha didn't perform better than Pedro this season.

@Polymath_16 What have they done again?

I watched the class of 92 burst onto the scene with the team and doninated from 97-03,i also watched the set of 07-13 and I can say the latter was the most dominant period of our time. These guys keep holding the treble over our heads, make dem go siddon abeg. @CalvinEmeka

@AfamDeluxo @CaptainArinze 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Trust Afam to affirm this type of matter. Captn has retired from the sport. 😁

@CaptainArinze Onye egwu. 🤣

One thing many women look for in men is desirability. A lot of women naturally pay attention to men who are also desired by other women. I learned this a long time ago when I was still on the street, when I was still in the world. I was hanging out with one pretty lady and one of my old female friends walked into the restaurant with a group of her very attractive friends. After they all hugged and greeted me, I noticed my new friend started giving me more green light and being more affectionate. The rest, they say, is history. Every time I remember that incident, I thank Ada for showing up when she did. Her act was like a Mikel Obi’s pass. Gentle and precise. The perceived ‘bad guy’ will always be admired by some ladies. It is what it is.

@Real1_balogun 🔥🔥🔥 Preach it, Rilwan!!

Antoine Semenyo stays at Bournemouth, he doesn’t get to win the Carabao Cup and the FA Cup. Bournemouth don’t get to buy Rayan. Rayan doesn’t get to make Brazil’s World Cup list. Fate and fortunes shift for the accommodation of destiny.

@tmacbond 🤣🤣🤣 Tension ti bo Tunde.

Olote ni e

So Kai Havertz got away with that? Even AFTER VAR? Oh wow! Arsenal fans should NEVER complain about anything ever again! Simple

I hope we're gonna get a few days of media wailing about this. Any time there's a perception of United getting a favourable decision. It's 24/7 Sky Sports News, every backpage, every pundit's having a go.

There's absolutely no attempt to play the ball. It studs up straight into his leg. This is as clear a red as you can get. But of course PGMOL is just totally against Arsenal, and obviously it's a conspiracy to favour everyone else, isn't it?

@TukaLetura Definitely. I have never been for this process nonsense.

Absolutely should be in on the title next term.

@adelakunbayo I can't forget that afternoon. I got on a Jubilee Line tube packed with them going to Luton. This group in the same carriage were so disparaging of Moyes. I was certain they would regret it because I knew they were getting above themselves.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This egbon is wicked. Soothsayer extraordinaire. See what you remembered

@nqatpod I am not sure what exactly is going on with him currently. He seems more interested in how he is perceived rather than anything else.

Yeah, I did watch the Sky feed. Neville went on a 15-minute rant. The reason why I don't like watching Neville, is not because I perceive him to somehow be anti-United. It's because he forgot that the value in having him on is not just his voice. It's because he was a pro for 20 years, and that's insight that none of us mere mortals could have. When he stops doing that, stops offering that unique insight, and it's just the sound of his voice, then he has no value

Without VAR and all the new rules, Cunha does not even get a chance to shoot for goal yesterday. The referee blows his whistle as soon as Mbeumo traps the ball between his arm and body. I'm for refs standing on their decisions after VAR review but not this time. Dreadful call

It feels like women could be 100% of students in higher education and it still won’t be good enough. When will we decide it’s time to address the challenges of boys and men?!?

@adelakunbayo Ref followed the law that says when the ball hits a part of the body BEFORE the hand/arm, then it is not an infringement/handball. They are being silly in their apology to Forest. Ref followed the nonsense law they came up with.

I hear PGMOL have been in touch with Forest to apologise. That ref fall their hand. Unfortunately it makes the case for refs going against VAR weaker now with this wrong decision

@adelakunbayo The United players did not even expect it to stand. I certainly didn't expect it to stand. Problem for the ref was that if he used common sense to overrule the law he would be in trouble.

It was an absolutely dreadful call. So unfair to have that allowed to stand

@nqatpod The new rule is why the referee stood by his decision. This used to be a simple game. I don't even listen to Neville anymore. I didn't watch the Sky feed, thankfully.

I don't like the law as it stands. Agree that it's pretty stupid. Although it's all very clear in the IFAB guidance if people could be bothered to read it. I'm sure you have. Gary Neville really could use doing that. That said, the laws are only ever a problem when it benefits United. I think we've seen this pattern over and over again. Remember when Boro scored by handballing it? No one complained. Ever.