Captain SkyRob 🇺🇸 ✈️

@Discover needs to do a better job of letting you know what specific type of card you have. I have the Discover It card but there are different versions of It and nowhere on the app, online portal or the card itself does it tell you.

@awstar11 @BecketAdams Drakkar Noir

@BecketAdams She could mean Spenser Gift or Chicos

My wife just told me I "smell like a mall." Considering she's Gen X, I choose to accept this remark as a high honor.

@Aristos_Revenge His life was changed forever when he got that ridiculous tattoo on his face.

@MphoMasoleng Cheers from Barbados! 🇧🇧

Such a beautiful day, I had. Where are you? #TravelWithMpho

@3YearLetterman The Magna Carta explicitly prohibits taxes.

I will not be filing a tax return this year, and there’s nothing that government can do about it

@GetSpectrum Not a good start: switched a phone and tablet from T-Mobile after being told Spectrum would buy out the rest of my $400 phone contract. NOPE!!! That tablet doesn’t count as a “line”, of which you need two to qualify for the buyout. So I’m out $400. Not happy.

I’ve decided that Caleb Williams is Robert Redford’s Sundance Kid. He can’t hit shit until he’s moving. Then he’s off the hook.

@Sassafrass_84 Don’t you know diet is “die” with a “t” on the end, you monster?!?

My dog is whining right now because he knows I made my daughter macaroni and cheese for lunch. It's his favorite. Actually, all my dogs love macaroni and cheese. He is on a diet, though. He keeps barking at me to let me know he is displeased. Sorry, bud. The vet said diet. 😢

@In_Otter_News2 E. Definitely E.

@HarmlessYardDog The WereBeagle of London

Awoooooooooooooooooooo!

@TheBigGuy904 @Jaguars That was one hell of a W!

I shed a tear in the Bank tn. Love u @Jaguars

@TrumpsHurricane It does not.

Please help settle an argument….. Does this count as spaghetti ??

Where’s Montez Sweat?

@midwestern_ope B

You can only be in one of these sections for the rest of your life. What are you choosing?

@messedupfoods I was 1,999,999 short today. I vow to do better.

@ltwombly93 Very nice. Thank you.

@ltwombly93 What pan is that? Everything about that looks good.

This evening is looking quite fowl

@LibertyCappy Got to give the man credit.

Gonna watch Ted Lasso in its entirety to try to forget about this team.