ᑕᗩ✞✞ ᑕℓƎƎ✨♡

@RiBaby__ Miss you angel!

😇

You know what’s wrong with this country?…. Just kidding. Enjoy your day.

“Remember that hot dad we met in the produce section at Walmart”

When I get a new car we’re blessing it with sage before you crawl in

Is Boston a city or a state? @DOPEasD0VEsoap

“Remember when you enjoyed bartending”

I serve beer better than you serve beer

Been in LA for ONE DAY and I already met a tik tok legend and had a homeless dude yell at me “what u lookin at bitch, I’ll lay you out in the street now”. It’s called thriving

My kinda viral sis goes live on tik tok a lot while she does her makeup. I’ve walked in the room twice to hear: 1.) “that chick with the buck teeth is hot” and 2.) “your mom’s a milf”. Never had I ever received such backhanded compliments. Me, a hot bucktooth mom you wanna screw.

Why my Bachelors degree feel like a High School diploma 😂🤦🏽‍♂️

Wasn’t planning on spending my hottest years living like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chcolate Factory but here we are

Missing Person: Samantha “Sami” Matthew’s. Sammy is 23 years old and from the Whitman Square Development. If anyone knows her whereabouts please contact the Washington Township Police Department at 256-1212. ANY information is helpful.

@kasey_kyler We miss you!!

I’ll just leave this here

My mom: cardi b had a big spread in people magazine calling out peppa pig for jumping in puddles bc her daughter is doing it now and ruining all her boots. Maybe she should start singing to her “WAP WAP WAP THATS A WET ASS PUDDLE”

There can’t be many things more uncomfortable than forgetting how to swallow water in public, choking like an idiot 5 year old

My mom saw me post on Facebook looking for recommendations for a new reasonably-priced vacuum and bought me one as a surprise that day. Shout out to moms.

You ever read a text after you’ve sent it to a guy and then instantly think: well if i didn’t scare him away before that oughta do it

@dumbdumbnbroke And I don’t disagree with you on that kel. I’m simply saying we need to work to fix that problem so kids can trust cops who have saved our lives. Every single life matters despite race, sexual orientation, or job choice. No one is categorically evil based on these things.

@CattClee You and I were raised to trust the police and come to them if we needed help. Many kids are raised to not wear hoodies, to not make sudden movements, they were taught to fear and cower to police because their life might depend on it.

So there are a lot of blue lives matter and trump flags in my neighborhood. I really want to hang a pride flag but it seems disingenuous because I’m not gay. That being said the neighborhood needs it and I want local queer kids to know my home is a safe space. Thoughts???