Chase Wulff

Some folks’ ancestors lead them to sing and dance. Mine lead me to open the all the windows in the house in February.

@wonder Whatever advert you have running with the female version of Robert F. Kennedy, I would suggest you drop. It is totally grating to the ear.

I work for an accounting firm. And if the accounting software is down for any reason, we get a reimbursement based on the amount of time it is down. (Because everything has to be a “service” nowadays.) Same should go for Minecraft. Do you hear me, @minecraft & @Microsoft?

There comes a time in your life when the most uppers you can do is a cup of coffee. And even that is pushing it. #Millenial

@CalSavers Your email is broken. Everything sent to clientservices@calsavers.com is being returned. Tried from two separate emails. Check with our IT and they confirm not a problem on our end.

How has no one snatched up the drag name Phendrana Drifts? #MetroidPrime4

Why do @Lowes gift cards only work at customer service and not the normal register?

@BankofAmerica, when I enter a wire in online banking to the routing number for City National Bank, 122016066, it says it is Total Bank. It is not. I have called customer service 3 times to resolve, but no one cares. @CityNational can you do something about this?

Some of y’all grew up listening to music without bridges and key changes and it shows.

Wooo! TikTok getting banned. Now I don’t have to redownload and delete it every time you send me some stupid video.

One day in the late 2000s we all downloaded every single one of our Facebook friend’s birthdays to our calendar and through it all they are still on our calendars to this very day. Today is Tyler Johnson’s birthday. I have no idea who that is. Happy birthday, Tyler!

There’s this lady at work whose excuse for everything, “Well, English isn’t my first language.” Meanwhile, she has been speaking English for longer than some people in the office have been alive.

I hope when the aliens invade that all these half full glasses of water I leave around my house function like they do in the movie Signs.

Are we still excessively arching our backs on everything we do at the gym or have the fitness gurus moved on from that yet?

Friend-o is an English word Friendo is a Spanish word. I don’t make the rules

Being a white guy in America: Hundred percent, would recommend. I just did some leaf blowing drunk and stoned in suburbia at dusk in a safe neighborhood and it’s a top 10 life experience, for sure.

We don’t use the word “spurious” enough in modern parlance. Or “parlance” for that matter.

The thing about tests is, we were all conditioned to believe they are pass or fail. But what they really are is a way to show you where you are at the current moment. There is no pass or fail.

The amount of people on the Internet that think the word “sweaty” is actually “sweetie” is quite concerning.

Harris Louis-Dreyfus 2024