Chris Bess 🟧

@JBTHEPLUG1 7

Gun pointed at your head, name a wood.

@Joelbirmz12 I'm reading this as my "karen" neighbor has begun her daily-morning routine of blowing the same 12 leaves around the yard vs. picking them up. Thus begins her Spring tradition, for the 25th year in a row... 🤬🤣🤣🤣

Why the fuck has someone started lawnmower up at fucking 7:20am on a fucking Saturday?? Prick

@BoneheadsPage Thank you for sharing. Beautiful pictures!

Goodbye Barbados, you healed me.

Dear World, I'm so sorry. We are all not like him. Please show us the grace we don't deserve. #25thAmendmentNow #ImpeachTrumpNOW #IranWar‌

@ThrillaRilla369 In school, back in the day, we got a peanut butter sandwich with our chili, and it worked! Still love it.

What goes well with chili? 🥣 and you can't say crackers

@oasis @liamgallagher @NoelGallagher your documentary does not need time constraints. If the material is good, we will watch. 4hrs should be the minimum. 10hrs feels proper. But please don't limit your greatness. We, the fans, are worthy! ☮️

When you hear Oasis blasting from your kids bedroom

Iranian hackers threatening to wipe all of America’s debt and credit scores. Lol. Do you need all nine digits of my social or the only the last four?

@mrmikeMTL 1. What's the Story Morning Glory or... Garbage 2.0 No Need To Argue Star Wars Soundtrack Glory Soundtrack

If someone offered you $1,000,000 to listen to one album for 48 hours straight, which album are you choosing?

If WTF was a picture... Missouri weather. Never boring. Often disappointing.

@Red5Brooke 3 words: all Muppet cast.

Hot take but I kinda don’t want a red dead movie. If you wanna know the story, play the game. It’s already perfect so why try to recreate it and risk ruining it. You can’t replace any of the original actors either.

@FinFreedom414 B. Without hesitation or a second thought.

Imagine you had to choose your life at age 40: Option A: Single. No kids. $10M net worth. Travel anywhere. Total freedom. Quiet house. Quiet holidays. Option B: Married. 3 kids. $1M net worth. Drive a Toyota. Chaos every morning. Loud house. Full dinner table. Be honest, which life are you choosing?

5 years old - Dad knows everything! 7 years old - Dad knows. 10 years old - Maybe dad doesn’t know?! 12 years old - Dad doesn’t know. 14 years old - Dads gone crazy! 16 years old - Can’t take dad seriously. 18 years old - What does dad know?! 22 years old - Dads talking rubbish! 24 years old - I know more than dad! 26 years old - Dad seems to know some things after all. 30 years old - Think I should ask dad about this?! 40 years old - It’s amazing how dad went through all this! 45 years old - Dads been right all along. 50 years old - If dad was here, I could have learned a lot from him. Your father is the only man who's proud to see you doing better than him.

That time a grandma broke her nose while hiking and didn't want the helivac, but ended up winning a $450,000 lawsuit

@sciencegirl Sitting on a patio with a group of friends. No phones, just people, stories, sometimes food & always drinks...

People who actually experienced the 1990s: What is something you miss from that decade that just isn't the same today

Younger me had a heated, super-single sized waterbed. I could easily sleep 14hrs a day when given the opportunity. I was wrapped up like a burrito. It was a glorious time.

@mrmikeMTL Sitting on the couch regretting how much pizza I consumed watching television.

Where do you see yourself in 1 hour be honest?

I wonder at what age will I no longer be able to pay my son in Lego?

As a homeowner, the one sound that brings instant terror, is the sound of water dripping & having no clue where its coming from. Your heart rate immediately climbs into the 200s & all you can think of is financial ruin.

@lady_valor_07 Take it on the Run.

Fuck your favorite song. Tell me your least favorite. One that you despise. I don’t need a reason why, just tell me.