Chris

@CL_fTrader 4397

I tried to start a hot air balloon company, but it just didn't take off.

I'm not disappointed that there's no snow on Christmas. I'm disappointed that there's no Christmas on snow.

I guess I could put it in the wrong corner.

I picked the wrong christmas tree and now I'm stuck with a big, dead, pine.

why do I have such a hard time getting out of bed? my alarm clock is always angry at me.

Wurst case scenario.

@elonmusk My goal is to Tweet so much they have to invent a 'Tweet too much' warning badge.

I meet so many people who read twitter every day, but almost never tweet. If I may beg your indulgence, please add your voice to the public dialogue!

Why is it snowing? That's like global warming saying 'Hey! Just kidding!'

The World Cup is kind of like having Olympics for just one sport.

I work at a job where I'm punching a clock from nine to five. But really, I'm just punching myself

@ErikVoorhees taxation is theft

A far more just tax system would be as follows: -Gov sets flat tax rate across all citizens. -Each citizen allocates their taxes to the programs they find important. On average, gov spending would then represent citizen's actual preferences. Disagree?

@McDonalds 🤏

reply 🤏 to steal a fry

@TimeFrogs @tingeltangelmik LFG!

The Unrehearsed Voiceover Artist - Olympic Synchronised Swimming.

You know it's been a WILD day when AOC, Ted Cruz, Donald Trump Jr. and Dave Portnoy all agree on something.

Verbot von #Verschluesselung, #Fingerabdrücke im Pass, Aufhebung der Bagatellgrenzen beim #Urheberrecht, #Uploadfilter auf Steroiden in #terreg, Entfristung von #Geheimdienstbefugnissen. Nur mal letzte Woche. 2020 hätte gar kein #Corona gebraucht, um ein Katastrophenjahr zu sein

A malfunctioning dental school robot