ogallala aquifer truther JD MBA DJ

guy who thinks kbbq stands for kansas barbecue

@hedinist_ not the t*mar slander ...

The chocolate chip cookie is fundamentally a brown sugar cookie enlivened by the addition of chocolate chips. Do not entertain recipes that do not understand this

sts2 going all in on gaping hole enemies

millennial coworker just said "{employer name} is doin all the heckin' labor violations" i cant wait to speak like that

societies typically talk about human cognition as working similarly to whatever is seen as the latest and greatest technology. that’s why we currently describe the brain as a roguelike deckbuilding game about characters making their way up a spire

Seems like a narcissist

Can I be honest I wouldn’t want to be friends with punch the baby monkey either

@filmlver every movie is good but 5 stars is saved for something transcendental

my favorite hobby is giving films 4 starts on letterboxd like i’m a serial 4 star giver

@sierralayko it always ruins the friendship for me when I find out they can’t do math :/

meeting friends in adulthood is awesome cuz you could have no idea if they’re good at math or not

This is brand new information!

@2002tacomasr5 And another time I mixed a thickening agent into red wine to make it kind of mucusy

@2002tacomasr5 I had a light beer with puréed blueberries mixed into it so it was kind of thick and pulpy

My whole life I have been thirsty for a type of drink that doesn't exist yet.. sometimes I even dream about it but never with any clarity. I wonder what it is

@robbiegiudice Rachel sennott pout

Low key sun-kissed and need to shave

@catboynine foreskin gap relationship

is circumcised bf x uncircumcised bf problematic

for the crabs it is like living on music planet.. ❤️

Let it be known

Well yeah my mother WAS my first celebrity like that’s literally Mom