Chet Churchpain

Our church finally settled on singing it as, "And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen side hug."

I've been leaving some really harsh reviews of people who have their Christmas light displays listen on Google maps. None of them are nearly as impressive as their pictures from December

@ChruchSecretary Don't go chasing waterfalls. Just stick to the rivers and the lakes you are used to.

Clifford If you think about it, a cliff and a ford are 2 geographical features that don't go well together.

This is how I'd feel all the time. Good thing He is not like me.

Pen name is obviously a pseudonym based off of "Boggart" to keep him out of trouble with the Ministry of Magic. The money was laundered and placed into his account at Gringotts. Clever

As you can tell from the picture, it was obviously taken during his first year at Hogwarts when he looked like a 11 year old instead of when he traveled back and looked like a 15 year old.

I just found this book. Published September 24, 1981 "A thirteen-year-old master of Rubik's Cube discusses the history of the puzzle, describes patterns that can be made, and offers instructions for solving the cube." Read on to see how this fits in with the Harry Potter lore

@ChruchSecretary It's Johns all the way down.

@Churchpain I met a guy named John Johnson. His son is named John John. So, the kid is John John son of John Johnson. But then I find out that the dad is really John Johnson III, so he should really be John John John John Johnson. People would think he has a stutter when they first meet.

Why do people make a big deal about having IV or V at the end of their name? Do you want us to be proud for you and your long history of uncreative ancestors?

If I see a picture of food, It's like my brain enables me to smell it. It makes scents if you think about it

The three hardest things to say: 3.⁠I need help 2.⁠I’m sorry 1.⁠Worcestershire

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I wonder if Professor Quirrell ever warned his students that he had eyes in the back of his head.

Imagine you have $86,400 Someone comes along and just takes $10 away from you You think it might have been wasted But then you give them $10 more to see if the first ten was really wasted Each dollar is like a second of your day And you aren't getting anything back from me

Great, thanks. Now I do too.

I'm not passive aggressive. Just the opposite. I'm active apathetic.

@Jonatha81371161 It's the chorus. It gets repeated to much. And the bridge just keeps on going.

I've had John Cage's 4'33" stuck in my head all day.

I wanted to install a new sink but there wasn't any pipe going to that area. Instead, I hooked up a humidifier where I have water and put a dehumidifier where I want the sink. I call it Wa-Fi

Nature has many amazing ways of signaling "Do not approach"