Mike T

Beat that !

@DanEdisonComedy 😂

A one-liner about chocolate 🫕

@SusanCalman @annieoneandonly Please make Magyk a #CatOfTheDay so I don’t keep having to tell her ‘Afraid it’s not you again’.

Susan's #CatOfTheDay is Phillipa. Thank you @annieoneandonly for sharing this pic!

@sherry2474 @mikegardner_wb It’s a joke ffs.

Wow. A dictator at work. Silencing people’s voices, shutting down their choices, and moving to cancel elections altogether. No wonder he’s so chummy with the Islamic Republic of Iran, he’s clearly been studying their playbook for crushing dissent. Harsh prison time for social media posts, but a slap on the wrist for actual crimes. What is next? Bringing back capital punishment for anyone who dares to criticise his policies?

BREAKING NEWS “Furious” Starmer was not told local elections had taken place yesterday. The PM claims civil servants kept him in the dark until this morning. He has ordered an enquiry into why the elections had gone ahead without his knowledge. “I thought we’d cancelled them” he told Sky News.

@MaxLamariyzk @RachelRileyRR A claim you have absolutely no evidence for. It would be the same as me claiming all Muslims supported the actions of Hamas. Which is also total bollocks.

Waiting for the bingo card response of “no place for antisemitism in our society” from politicians and media who have helped stoke this crisis

@DanSKFK @haveigotnews You do know that following this account isn’t compulsory?

@haveigotnews Any chance of getting someone with an ounce of wit or humour to run this account? It’s painful.

After attempting to change the 'Gulf of Mexico' to the ‘Gulf of America', Donald Trump inspires another rebrand as 'Strait of Hormuz' increasingly starts to look like 'Shit Creek'

@HistorylandHQ What do you mean stop chewing the grass?

A Parisian woman in her cannabis garden, with her cat. 1910.

@NASA NASA posts are unique in the new levels of stupid unlocked in the responses.

The Moon astronauts shared their location…with all of us! Follow the crew in real-time on their journey around the far side of the Moon and back to Earth. go.nasa.gov/3PNeXYV

@69Ryxn @Tendar ‘Research” 😂

@Tendar Takes 2 seconds of research to find out the U.S. never made such request 👇 x.com/wieslawkukula/…

The US have requested that Poland transfers a Patriot battery to the Middle East. Polish Defense Minister Kosiniak-Kamysz responded: “Our Patriot batteries are used to protect Polish skies and NATO’s eastern flank (…). We have no plans to relocate them anywhere.”

@SusanCalman This is Magyk - nearly 19 but still can’t resist a box.

Would your feline friend like to be Susan's #CatOfTheDay? Please reply to this post with a pic of them to be considered for this distinguished title!

@HansonsAuctions He’s worked out how you’re supposed to wear glasses too!😎

Dress as a ‘rock star ‘ day at school and my son Fred did just that !! 😎😅

@Dickwith2dogs Feels like only yesterday

Wanna feel old?

@RealDMitchell @PalladiumPanto @JulianClary Oh no you didn’t.

I saw this year’s @PalladiumPanto tonight and once again it is sensational. So funny, spectacular, irreverent and Christmassy. A terrific cast led as usual by the hilarious @JulianClary. It’s really EXTREMELY enjoyable.

@DanEdisonComedy You’re all swingers.

All my best friends are fellow trapeze artists. They're the kind of people I hang around with.

@MartikasK @haveigotnews It’s the account of a satirical comedy show, you utter loon.

@haveigotnews This ⬆️ is a UK state intelligence and security account, paid to post pro-establishment, anti-populist propganda to social media on behalf of the British state.

At the Chequers press conference, President Trump again claims to have solved “seven wars”, as he stands at 14 lecterns, with 35 fellow leaders, in front of 140 flags

@cagnamartyr @SkyCricket She is English you utter slice.

@SkyCricket How many English women have had the chance to play for India, Bangladesh or Pakistan? If not, why not? Why is this only one way traffic? Why is it English girls who have spaces in their national team denied to them?

"I didn't want to be defined by my colour, which isn't necessarily the right thing to do. I just wanted my cricket to do the talking." Isa Guha on being the first Asian woman to play for England 🏏

@Richardtmk1978 @SkyCricket Yes

@SkyCricket If we are 9 down with 1 run needed,would Woakes bat one handed?

Stumps on day four at The Oval after a lengthy discussion between groundstaff and the umpires 🌧️ The fifth Test will go to a fifth day with England needing 35 runs and India requiring four wickets to win ⏳

@UnIxphysco Over the price?

My sex tape is 60 mins long, 58 minutes of it are arguing