Daniel Edison

I said to a friend of mine...

Fishing jokes? I'm hooked on them!

"It was an out of body experience" - Portsmouth comedian Daniel Edison on his unflappable Britain's Got Talent audition trib.al/01Xzj6O

Spotted this guy who looks exactly like me, on the front page of the local papers today, with a full article inside too. Thanks @portsmouthnews for the nice article!

@BeeHappy37 🫣

@DanEdisonComedy Looked good too. Nice tight jeans 👍😉😉🔥

Well, that was fun... What a pleasure to perform on Britain's Got Talent! If you tuned in this evening and saw my set, I hope you enjoyed it!

@awesome_D @BGT Thank you

@DanEdisonComedy @BGT I just caught up with it - I thought you were funny! It was a good set

@Harvey741 @BGT Thanks Jonathan!

@DanEdisonComedy @BGT You did well. Good to see someone flying the flag for the one-liner on BGT!

I joined a dating site for people desperate to get married, and straight away, they asked for my name and a dress.

My friend William is angry because I stole his hairpiece and tried to sell it. Well I'm sorry, but I have bills to pay.

A student at my school never looked at the seating plan. He ended up on the wrong side of History.

I got beaten up for stealing calamari. I took a batter ring.

It's my first day de-icing roads for the council, and they've asked me to use head lice instead of salt. I'm ready to get down to the nitty-gritty.

Last Valentine's Day...

My best mate just had a pelvis transplant from a donor in Paris. I've known him for years... It's a lasting French hip.

It's my first week cleaning toilets, and I hate it already. I'm beginning to loo soap.

My wife just finished a 7-day run of theatre shows playing Joan of Arc, and the critics have been harsh. She's been under fire all weak.

@TheNewsAtGlenn Hogs of War! Yes!!

Got reunited with these today

My friend Otto lives in the capital of Italy. He's my pal in Rome.

To everyone who's reached out to let me know they've tossed a coin into a water feature: thanks for all the well wishes.

I always run out of spoons, because I get caught stealing drinks off tables.