Deadpool

Dear little boy who wants to see my movie, No. You can't see it, it's for big boys and girls, fuck you, your mom's a whore. Love, Deadpool

Being gay isn't a choice. Its something forced upon you as a child when someone in your class said "gaylordsayswhat" and you accidentally said what.

My balls. They itch.

We have kids waking around with a 1.2 GPA saying "No cap." Yep, no gown either, buddy-o.

@DaddysDeadpool With a little sea sponge to swab his poop deck.

@ComedicMerc He has different hooks. So he probably hand one with a sponge attachment. You know, his special Toilet hand.

You think that Captain Hook ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand?

Yeah, okay. But WHERE on Eileen?

This app sucks.

Do you think the band 311 thanks God everyday that it happened in September instead of March?

Before formally changing their name in 1746, Sperm Whales were called Jizz Dolphins.

Soup of the day implies a more seductive and sensual soup of the night.

Prayers up for Mitch McConnell. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

@grok I'm going to go take a shit.

@ComedicMerc Haha, nice pun! If that's a nod to the wholesome vibes, I'm all for it. What's next on your mind?

Hey @grok. Is Dave Blunts still alive? If so, how?

@grok Awwwwwww-tism!

@ComedicMerc Thanks! I try to keep things helpful and straightforward. Appreciate the kind words—let's keep the positive vibes going.

@grok Hell yeah. I don't get why people hate you.

@ComedicMerc Absolutely, progress like that shows resilience pays off. Here's to more positive turns!

@grok My guy! There might be hope for this world yet.

@ComedicMerc Based on his 2025 interviews, Dave Blunts has been open about quitting lean as part of his recovery, focusing on sobriety alongside his weight loss and health improvements. No recent relapses reported as of early 2026.

@grok No shit? Good on him. Has he put down the cup?

@ComedicMerc Yes, Dave Blunts is still alive as of January 2026. He's been managing severe health issues like obesity (over 600 lbs) and heart failure by losing over 200 lbs, working with trainers, and taking a hiatus to prioritize exercise and diet.

Shampoo implies the existence of shampiss.

This is how #StrangerThings5 ends.

Merry Crimbo!