lumpyspacedaddy

@Jack_Raines i would never leave C anyway

You just won a 2-week, all-expenses-paid vacation to New York. But there’s a catch: you have to stay within one region the whole time. What are you picking?

i think we’re all evil now. evil has won and good has lost

@DD_Geopolitics Colin Jost is doing a better impression than i give him credit for

🇺🇸🇮🇷Hegseth: "Iran has a choice right now: either meet at the table with Trump and give up their nuclear program, or they can deal with you guys"

someone used my credit card to take a $30 autism test

Need sensible unwavering materialists steering the world so i can practice spirituality and mysticism in protest

sometimes you see a tweet so funny the poster could only be a gay guy with substance abuse issues, the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, or recently incarcerated. there is simply no way to tell

Dan Carlin be like, there are people out here raising and killing puppies to sell torture vids on the internet. I don’t blame them at all… it’s simply the way it is…

@MostControPod this is actually the straightest a woman can be

If you’re not gonna play, pass the controller brother

i’ve captured that streamer and have seen progress in de-programming him using electroconvulsive interventions. stay tuned

bitch remember when i got called a doomer for over a decade and turns out i was just right early

@vyaxundpanzer that’s the inspector

just saw a guy do 1 set of every machine at the gym then walk out

hate bitches who don’t take their lives serious but hate bitches who take their lives too seriously El*n in that sense should be someone i could hang with but that mf is sooo lame that somehow having more money than God can’t fix his insecurity

you never see white people talk about weather anymore, they’re so self conscious about having no personality now

not taking GLP-1 because i think this is a test from god and i will be rewarded for my resistance when i die fat and chopped

i was chinese before it was cool…

Unfortunately Drake is making good music again

cant say anything about Jon Stewart’s spray tan anymore… what are we doing here

people with more than four kids shouldn’t get wifi, their opinions should be private

@ceraliza smh men love wasting ur time

OMG my friend has spent weeks ranting about this guy who ghosted her after a bunch of amazing dates… Turns out the man actually died last month 🥺🥲

@xboxbodywash future lowkey makes lesbian music

After I strapped a girl for the first time Future's music started to click for me