ConvincedOptimist ☦️

Humor that's this heavy-handed and not subtle is symptomatic of a kind of partisanship that is unable to be self critical in a very unhealthy way. I think this is meant as an April Fools joke, but it's so obvious it destroys the humor.

After much prayer, deep study, and an intense personal journey of discernment, I have decided to leave Catholicism and become Protestant. I can no longer remain in submission to a visible Church with apostolic authority, valid sacraments, saints, councils, consistency across centuries, and an actual historical claim to be the Church founded by Christ. Instead, I have been led to the far more reasonable position that Christ left us a Bible, a highlighter, and me. From this day forward, I will be my own final authority on Scripture, history, doctrine, and the meaning of Greek words I looked up 7 minutes ago. I will now reject Sacred Tradition in the name of traditions invented in 1998, deny the authority of the Church that gave me the canon, and confidently explain Christianity through a sermon clip, a study Bible note, and a man on YouTube named Caleb. I have also come to see that the best way to preserve Christian unity is by joining a theological system in which everyone is their own pope, every disagreement creates a new church plant, and "being led by the Spirit" simply means agreeing with my current opinion. I will be launching my own denomination later this afternoon. Our distinctives will include symbolic communion, invisible church membership, a 36 sermon series on Romans, and a firm belief that every Christian in history was wrong until my favorite pastor with a podcast arrived. Please respect my journey during this delicate time.

Did you actually look into it or just ask AI? He publicly retracted it on his Twitter account. He is the sole source for this information and admitted that the program he used "almost doubled" the numbers. I try to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you seem never to retract false information.

“Adult conversions to Catholicism are surging across the U.S. in 2026, with many dioceses reporting record-high numbers of adults joining the Church at Easter. Data from a ‘National Catholic Register’ survey shows 66 of 71 responding dioceses expecting significant increases.” 🧵