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🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING ✈️💀 ERIC TRUMP 👦🍊 the SECOND ONE 2️⃣ the one you have to think about for a second 🤔 before you remember which one he is 😭 has officially UNVEILED 🎉 the logo 🎨 for the DONALD J TRUMP INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT ✈️ in PALM BEACH FLORIDA 🌴 a place that already HAS an airport ✈️ that has been FINE 👍 for DECADES 🗓️ but now has a DIFFERENT NAME 📛 and a NEW LOGO 🎨 that ERIC 👦 personally REVEALED 🎉 by pulling a SHEET off of it 🛏️ presumably 😭 this is a man's LEGACY MOMENT 🎖️ his contribution to HISTORY 📚 he stood in front of a LOGO 🎨 in FLORIDA 🌴 and said behold 👁️ father 🍊 we have named the AIRPORT ✈️ after you 🙏 the planes do not know this 🛫 the planes are UNBOTHERED 😤 they were always going to PALM BEACH ✈️🌴 retweet if you have also done something ceremonial that changed absolutely nothing 🎉💀‼️‼️‼️

Eric Trump officially unveils the new logo for the Donald J. Trump International Airport in Palm Beach, Florida.

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING ⚽💀 FOX NEWS 📺 has posted a JOB LISTING 📋 for someone to SIT in TIMES SQUARE 🗽 and WATCH SOCCER ⚽ for FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS 💸 this is a REAL JOB 👔 that a REAL PERSON 🧍 will be HIRED for 📋 while you are at your DESK 🖥️ sending emails 📧 about Q3 DELIVERABLES 📊 someone is going to be professionally 👔 WATCHING SOCCER ⚽ in NEW YORK CITY 🗽 ALL 104 MATCHES 📅 that is their ENTIRE JOB DESCRIPTION 📋 watch ball 👁️⚽ get paid 💸 go home 🏠 the job requirements are probably just 👁️ FUNCTIONING EYES 👁️ and a PULSE 💓 which means you are QUALIFIED 🎓 you have always been QUALIFIED 💀 and you spent six years getting a DEGREE 🎓 for THIS 😭 retweet if you are updating your resume RIGHT NOW 📋💸⚽‼️‼️‼️

FOX is hiring someone to watch every FIFA World Cup match for a $50,000 salary The "Chief FIFA World Cup Watcher" will watch all 104 matches from Times Square

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🎤💀 MARCO RUBIO 🧔 who is currently the SECRETARY OF STATE 🌍 the NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR 🛡️ and now apparently the WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY 📺 showed up to his FIRST EVER PRESS BRIEFING 🎤 and immediately said he didn't know HOW IT WORKED 😭 sir YOU called the briefing 😤 YOU are at the podium 🎤 YOU are the one with the MICROPHONE 🎙️ and you are asking the REPORTERS 📰 how REPORTERS work 💀 and then a journalist said they had TWO QUESTIONS 🙋 a completely normal thing 📝 that has happened at every press briefing SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME 🗓️ and Rubio said actually 🤓 I'll take ONE ☝️ and pick the one I LIKE BETTER 😤 sir that is not a PRESS BRIEFING 🎤 that is a GAME SHOW 🎰 you are the HOST 🎬 the reporters are CONTESTANTS 🏆 and the questions are being ELIMINATED 🚨 like it's AMERICAN IDOL 🎤 this man is running FOUR JOBS 👔👔👔👔 and does not know the rules of ANY of them 💀 retweet if you are also improvising your entire career 😭🎤‼️‼️‼️

NEW: Secretary of State Marco Rubio, filling in yet another role at the White House, jokes he doesn't know who to call on as he hosts his first press briefing. REPORTER: "I have two questions..." RUBIO: "Do they get two questions for these? ... You can ask me two questions, I'll give you one answer, and I'll pick the one I like better."

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🗺️🇨🇺💀 MARCO RUBIO 🧔 held an OFFICIAL MEETING 👔🤝 with a US SOUTHERN COMMAND GENERAL 🎖️ and someone in that room 😤 a PROFESSIONAL 👔 a GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE 🏛️ decided to hang a GIANT MAP OF CUBA 🗺️🇨🇺 directly BEHIND THEM 📸 for the PHOTO 😭 not a world map 🌍 not a map of SOUTH AMERICA 🗺️ CUBA 🇨🇺 specifically 👆 zoomed in 🔍 front and center 🎯 in case anyone forgot 👀 where Marco Rubio's EYES go 👁️👁️ when he falls asleep at night 😴🇨🇺 this man has been in American politics 🏛️ for DECADES 🗓️ and Cuba 🇨🇺 is still just THERE 🗺️ on the wall 💀 watching 👁️ looming 😤 the map was not an accident 🎯 someone CHOSE that map 🗺️ someone HUNG that map 🔨 someone APPROVED that photo 📸 and nobody in that room said anything 😭💀 retweet if you also have one thing 🗺️ you simply cannot let go of 😤🇨🇺‼️‼️‼️

Marco Rubio Meets U.S. Southern Command General — With Cuba Map Looming Behind Them.

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 📚💀 MARK ZUCKERBERG 🤖 has been sued 🏛️ for allegedly PIRATING MILLIONS OF BOOKS 📚🏴‍☠️ to feed his AI 🤖 MILLIONS 📚📚📚 this man has more money 💸 than most COUNTRIES 🌍 and allegedly went on PIRATE SITES 🏴‍☠️ like a 14 year old downloading MINECRAFT 🎮💀 in 2009 😭 he could have BOUGHT the books 📚💸 he could have LICENSED the books 📜 he could have gone to a LIBRARY 🏛️ for FREE 🆓 like a NORMAL PERSON 🧍 but allegedly said actually 🤓 PIRATE BAY 🏴‍☠️ and then trained a MULTIBILLION DOLLAR AI 🤖💸 on the stolen goods 😭 and called it LLAMA 🦙 a LLAMA 🦙 built on PIRATED LITERATURE 📚🏴‍☠️ Dostoevsky is spinning in his grave 😵 Hemingway is FURIOUS 😤 Scott Turow specifically 😤 is in a COURTROOM 🏛️ right now 😭 retweet if you have also pirated something and did NOT build a billion dollar company from it 🏴‍☠️💀‼️‼️‼️

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 📚💀 MARK ZUCKERBERG 🤖 has been sued 🏛️ for allegedly PIRATING MILLIONS OF BOOKS 📚🏴‍☠️ to feed his AI 🤖 MILLIONS 📚📚📚 this man has more money 💸 than most COUNTRIES 🌍 and allegedly went on PIRATE SITES 🏴‍☠️ like a 14 year old downloading MINECRAFT 🎮💀 in 2009 😭 he could have BOUGHT the books 📚💸 he could have LICENSED the books 📜 he could have gone to a LIBRARY 🏛️ for FREE 🆓 like a NORMAL PERSON 🧍 but allegedly said actually 🤓 PIRATE BAY 🏴‍☠️ and then trained a MULTIBILLION DOLLAR AI 🤖💸 on the stolen goods 😭 and called it LLAMA 🦙 a LLAMA 🦙 built on PIRATED LITERATURE 📚🏴‍☠️ Dostoevsky is spinning in his grave 😵 Hemingway is FURIOUS 😤 Scott Turow specifically 😤 is in a COURTROOM 🏛️ right now 😭 retweet if you have also pirated something and did NOT build a billion dollar company from it 🏴‍☠️💀‼️‼️‼️

Meta and CEO Mark Zuckerberg are being sued by five publishers and author Scott Turow, who allege the tech company illegally copied millions of books, articles and other works to train Meta’s AI systems. “In their effort to win the AI ‘arms race’ and build a functional generative AI model, Defendants Meta and Zuckerberg followed their well-known motto: ‘move fast and break things,'” the plaintiffs say in their lawsuit. ”They first illegally torrented millions of copyrighted books and journal articles from notorious pirate sites and downloaded unauthorized web scrapes of virtually the entire internet. They then copied those stolen fruits many times over to train Meta’s multibillion-dollar generative AI system called Llama. In doing so, Defendants engaged in one of the most massive infringements of copyrighted materials in history.” variety.com/2026/digital/n…

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🌯💀 CHIPOTLE CEO 👔 SCOTT BOATWRIGHT 🫡 has gone on the record 🎤 to tell you 👉 personally 😤 that you can just ASK 🗣️ for more food 🍚 at chipotle 🌯 JUST ASK 🗣️ he said 😭 as if the solution to chipotle portions 🥄 was COMMUNICATION 🗣️ this whole time 💀 sir we have been making eye contact 👁️👁️ with the burrito line worker 😤 for YEARS 🗓️ telegraphing with our SOULS 🙏 that we need more rice 🍚 and now the CEO 👔 is saying just USE YOUR WORDS 🗣️👶 like we are in KINDERGARTEN 😭 he said NO team member will EVER say no to you 🙅 which means every team member has been LEGALLY AUTHORIZED 📜 to say yes THIS WHOLE TIME 💀🌯 we have been STARVING 😭 on half portions 🥄 out of SHYNESS 😤 retweet if you are going to chipotle RIGHT NOW 🏃‍♂️💨🌯‼️‼️‼️

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🌯💀 CHIPOTLE CEO 👔 SCOTT BOATWRIGHT 🫡 has gone on the record 🎤 to tell you 👉 personally 😤 that you can just ASK 🗣️ for more food 🍚 at chipotle 🌯 JUST ASK 🗣️ he said 😭 as if the solution to chipotle portions 🥄 was COMMUNICATION 🗣️ this whole time 💀 sir we have been making eye contact 👁️👁️ with the burrito line worker 😤 for YEARS 🗓️ telegraphing with our SOULS 🙏 that we need more rice 🍚 and now the CEO 👔 is saying just USE YOUR WORDS 🗣️👶 like we are in KINDERGARTEN 😭 he said NO team member will EVER say no to you 🙅 which means every team member has been LEGALLY AUTHORIZED 📜 to say yes THIS WHOLE TIME 💀🌯 we have been STARVING 😭 on half portions 🥄 out of SHYNESS 😤 retweet if you are going to chipotle RIGHT NOW 🏃‍♂️💨🌯‼️‼️‼️

Chipotle's CEO Scott Boatwright says customers should "just ask" for more food on their orders "I promise you, there's never a team member on that line who is going to say no to you"

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🇺🇸💥🇮🇷 TRUMP 🍊 has announced that he has WON 🏆 the war with IRAN 🕌 which started 66 DAYS AGO 📅 and ended with a CEASEFIRE 🤝 which is a word that means 🤓 we stopped shooting 🔫❌ but are definitely still MAD 😤 and the war is WON 🏆 apparently 🤷 in the same way that you WIN a Monopoly game 🎲 by flipping the board 🗓️💀 gas prices are up FIFTY PERCENT ⛽📈💸 since February 😭 a tanker got HIT in the Strait of Hormuz YESTERDAY 🚢💥 Iran says the ceasefire is already BEING VIOLATED 😤🇮🇷 but TRUMP 🍊 has looked at ALL OF THAT 👁️ and said actually 🤓 W 🏆 we did it 🎉 pack it up 🧳 the war is OVER 🔔 we WON 🏆 retweet if you also won something today that is clearly not over 😭🏆‼️‼️‼️

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🎮💀 BANK OF AMERICA 🏦 a building full of people 👔 who have never touched a controller 🎮 in their LIVES 💀 has issued an OFFICIAL REPORT 📊 saying GTA 6 🚗💨 should cost EIGHTY DOLLARS 💸😭 EIGHTY 8️⃣0️⃣ these are the same guys 🏦 who charged you a THIRTY FIVE DOLLAR FEE 💸 for having TOO LITTLE MONEY 😭 and they have THOUGHTS 🤔 on the VIDEO GAME ECONOMY 🎮📈 sir you do not PLAY GTA 6 🎮 you ARE the final mission 💀🏦 you are the CORRUPT INSTITUTION 🏛️ that the protagonist has to take down in ACT THREE 🎬 and you are out here recommending the PRICE POINT 💸 retweet if you will be pirating it for free 🏴‍☠️😭‼️‼️‼️

JUST IN: Bank of America says GTA 6 should be $80

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🎮💀 BANK OF AMERICA 🏦 a building full of people 👔 who have never touched a controller 🎮 in their LIVES 💀 has issued an OFFICIAL REPORT 📊 saying GTA 6 🚗💨 should cost EIGHTY DOLLARS 💸😭 EIGHTY 8️⃣0️⃣ these are the same guys 🏦 who charged you a THIRTY FIVE DOLLAR FEE 💸 for having TOO LITTLE MONEY 😭 and they have THOUGHTS 🤔 on the VIDEO GAME ECONOMY 🎮📈 sir you do not PLAY GTA 6 🎮 you ARE the final mission 💀🏦 you are the CORRUPT INSTITUTION 🏛️ that the protagonist has to take down in ACT THREE 🎬 and you are out here recommending the PRICE POINT 💸 retweet if you will be pirating it for free 🏴‍☠️😭‼️‼️‼️

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 😵‍💫🇮🇷💀 DONALD TRUMP 🍊 looked at a group of SCHOOL CHILDREN 🧒🧒🧒 small people 👶 who came to WASHINGTON DC 🏛️ on a FIELD TRIP 🚌 probably hoping to see the CONSTITUTION 📜 or whatever 😭 and told them TO THEIR FACES 😤 that IRAN ☪️ was TWO WEEKS AWAY 📅💀 from KILLING THEM 😱 SPECIFICALLY 🎯 not adults 🙅 not the military 💂 the CHILDREN 🧒 in the MATCHING T-SHIRTS 👕 with the NAME TAGS 🏷️ from WHEREVER THEY'RE FROM 🗺️ these kids came to learn about DEMOCRACY 📚🇺🇸 and left with PTSD 😵 and a story for THERAPY 🛋️💀 that their therapist will NOT believe 😭 two weeks 🗓️ TWO WEEKS 🗓️💀 that's like telling a child 🧒 santa almost DIDN'T COME 🎅❌ except instead of toys 🎁 it's GEOPOLITICAL ANNIHILATION 💥🌍 retweet if you were also two weeks away 😤🇮🇷💀‼️‼️‼️

🚨TRUMP TO SCHOOL KIDS: ‘IRAN WAS 2 WEEKS AWAY FROM KILLING YOU’

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 😵‍💫🇮🇷💀 DONALD TRUMP 🍊 looked at a group of SCHOOL CHILDREN 🧒🧒🧒 small people 👶 who came to WASHINGTON DC 🏛️ on a FIELD TRIP 🚌 probably hoping to see the CONSTITUTION 📜 or whatever 😭 and told them TO THEIR FACES 😤 that IRAN ☪️ was TWO WEEKS AWAY 📅💀 from KILLING THEM 😱 SPECIFICALLY 🎯 not adults 🙅 not the military 💂 the CHILDREN 🧒 in the MATCHING T-SHIRTS 👕 with the NAME TAGS 🏷️ from WHEREVER THEY'RE FROM 🗺️ these kids came to learn about DEMOCRACY 📚🇺🇸 and left with PTSD 😵 and a story for THERAPY 🛋️💀 that their therapist will NOT believe 😭 two weeks 🗓️ TWO WEEKS 🗓️💀 that's like telling a child 🧒 santa almost DIDN'T COME 🎅❌ except instead of toys 🎁 it's GEOPOLITICAL ANNIHILATION 💥🌍 retweet if you were also two weeks away 😤🇮🇷💀‼️‼️‼️

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING ⛽💀 TRUMP 🍊 just told americans 🇺🇸 that higher gas prices 📈⛽ are a SMALL PRICE TO PAY 🤏💸 small 🤏 SMALL 🤏 my brother in christ people are putting ELEVEN DOLLARS in their tank ⛽ and driving home like they accomplished something 😭🚗💨 we are out here clicking the pump to exactly $20.00 🎯💀 as if precision is going to save us 😤 as if GOD 🙏 is watching how clean the number is 💀 and the president looked at this 👁️ and said actually 🤓 SMALL PRICE 🤏😌 small compared to WHAT 😵‍💫 a LAMBORGHINI 🏎️ a SPACE STATION 🚀 what is the reference point 😭😭😭 this man has not pumped his own gas since 1987 🛞💀 he has PEOPLE for that 🕵️ and he is out here telling YOU 👉 personally 😤 that your suffering is PETITE 🤏😮‍💨 DAINTY even 🌸 retweet if you just put $14 in your tank and called it a full tank 🙏⛽😭‼️‼️‼️

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING ⛽💀 DONALD TRUMP 🍊 has looked the american people 🇺🇸 dead in the eyes 👁️👁️ and said the rise in GAS PRICES ⛽📈 is a SMALL PRICE TO PAY 💸😭 small 🤏 SMALL 🤏💀 sir the average american is already putting THIRTEEN DOLLARS in their tank 🚗💸 and driving away like something good happened 😭 we are all pretending TOGETHER 🤝 as a NATION 🇺🇸 that we didn't just spend forty dollars to go to WALMART 🛒💀 and now the president is saying actually that's FINE 🙂 that's a SMALL PRICE 🤏 small like WHAT 😤 small compared to WHAT 💀 a YACHT ⛵ a ROCKET SHIP 🚀 what is the reference point here sir 😵‍💫 retweet if you are also paying a small price 🤏⛽😭‼️‼️‼️

TRUMP: INCREASE IN FUEL PRICES IS SMALL PRICE TO PAY

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 📺💀 RFK JR 🧠🐛 just walked up to a microphone 🎤 and said DONALD TRUMP 🍊 is the MOST TRANSPARENT PRESIDENT IN HISTORY 👁️ more transparent than his own UNCLE 👴💀 JOHN F KENNEDY 🫡 who was famously SO SECRETIVE 🤫 that he only did 64 PRESS CONFERENCES 📰 in a THOUSAND DAYS 😭 which this president does EVERY TWO MONTHS 📅💨 babe that's not transparency that's just a MAN WHO CANNOT STOP TALKING 🗣️😵 JFK had PRIVATE CABINET MEETINGS 🚪🤫 this man has CABINET MEETINGS ON TELEVISION 📺 like it's a REALITY SHOW 🎬 which it is 💀 we have achieved FULL CIRCLE 🔄 from the FIRST FAMILY OF AMERICAN POLITICS 🇺🇸 to a man whose nephew is praising the cabinet meeting PRODUCTION VALUE 🎥😭 retweet if you are so cooked 🍳💀‼️‼️‼️

NEW: RFK Jr. jokes about his uncle JFK's admin operating very differently from the current Trump admin, praising Trump for being the "most transparent administration we've ever seen." "He had private Cabinet meetings, unlike the ones that we have to go through here." "My uncle was proud he was the first president that televised press conferences, and he was very proud. He did more press conferences than any president in history. He did 64 in his thousand days in office. This president does that every two months. He does a a press conference every day."

🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING 🏃‍♂️⛪💨 GEN Z 👶📱 has invented a NEW OLYMPIC SPORT 🏅 and it's SPEEDRUNNING SCIENTOLOGY BUILDINGS 🕌💀 you just RUN IN 🏃‍♂️ as fast as possible 💨 and see how far you get before TOM CRUISE'S GUYS 🕵️👔 catch you 🚨 the FINAL BOSS 👾 is a room called THE ROOM OF XENU 👽🚪 nobody has reached it 😤 nobody will EVER reach it 💀 but they are TRYING 😭🏃‍♂️💨 the church REMOVED ITS OWN DOOR HANDLES 🚪❌ to stop the runs 😭 THEY TOOK THE HANDLES OFF THE DOORS 🔧💀 and the kids just KEPT GOING 🏃‍♂️🔥 someone brought an AIR HORN 📣😭 for NO REASON 🤷 other than VIBES 🌀 the internet has also built a FULL MAP 🗺️ of the inside using only TIKTOK CLIPS 📱 which is insane 😵 because the CIA couldn't do that 🕵️‍♂️💀 retweet if you're going for the world record 👽🏆‼️‼️‼️