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Count Binface
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Count Binface
@CountBinface
Space politician. join my Substack at https://t.co/QwjpOuHjFO
The Cosmos Katılım Aralık 2018
954 Takip Edilen164.7K Takipçiler
Zack Polanski is discovering you don’t need hypnotherapy to make a massive boob.
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Immediately make Trump do astronaut training. All of it. Start him in a centrifuge. He’ll shit himself within five seconds. Live-stream this and it will break the internet. Win win. #voteBinface
Republicans against Trump@RpsAgainstTrump
Not AI. Not SNL. Meeting the Artemis II astronauts, Trump claimed he’s physically “very, very good” and fit to be an astronaut: “I would have had no trouble making it. I’m physically very, very good.” How is this real life?
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Count Binface retweetledi
This week I’ve turned my visor towards his Holeyness, the supernaturally vacuous Russell Brand. Read my take on Mr Grifty Wifty at any of my cunning website addresses: Ed4leader.co.uk andy4leader.co.uk and yvette4leader.co.uk
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Besides the grifty-wifty Brand showing what he is, i’m enjoying Piers Morgan discovering that the route to universal praise is to keep his mouth shut. My pledge for him to be zero emissions by 2030 is surprisingly on track.
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Behold the antidote to the triple-lock.
Jacob Orth@JacobsVegasLife
Slot machines can now follow you across the casino floor😳
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Thatcher, Major, Blair, Brown, Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss, Sunak, Starmer.
I'd genuinely be better. #VoteBinface
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So when Donald Trump said the Iran War was going swimmingly, he was referring to the crews of oil tankers.
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Read all about it! Read all about it!
Count Binface skewers Starmer with satirical sabre of light. countbinface.substack.com/p/sir-sheer-ka…
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🚨RAF in advanced talks to order airborne pig squadron this summer subject to 3% GDP spending on defence.
David Ornstein@David_Ornstein
🚨 Tottenham Hotspur in advanced talks to sign Marcos Senesi as free agent this summer subject to retaining PL status. Nothing finalised so still open + interest in 28yo #AFCB centre-back from elsewhere but #THFC leading contender at present @TheAthleticFC nytimes.com/athletic/69286…
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Check. And incidentally, mate. @Keir_Starmer
David Maddox@DavidPBMaddox
Just pointing out that I broke the story 7 months ago that Mandelson failed vetting from the security services and put it to Downing Street...so the idea that Downing Street only found out on Tuesday is complete nonsense. independent.co.uk/news/uk/politi…
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Doing a bit of manifesto planning. I love planet Earth, but words like ‘FIFA’ and ‘curated by Chris Martin’ make me wonder if I should offer to nuke it from orbit.
Semafor@semafor
The 2026 @FIFAWorldCup Final will feature a "halftime show" for the first time in history, FIFA President Gianni Infantino tells @maxwelltani, revealing it will be "curated by Chris Martin and Coldplay." "I cannot yet tell you which artists will be performing, but it's not one, it's more than one. And it will be the biggest in the world. It will be fantastic."
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Humans! Treat yourself to a full-fat subscription to my 5ubstack 'Count Binface Lifts The Lid' today and you'll get 20% off for life AND a personalised video from yours truly. Space up your spring with the greatest political analysis in the galaxy! countbinface.substack.com/springsale
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Want to play a Christ Simulator? There’s a new video game called ‘I Am Jesus Christ’. But I’ve got way better titles for it than that. What’s yours? (Get more golden punnery like this and all my newsletters at my 5ubstack, BetterThanX.co.uk)
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