Michael

@HoneypotVictim No

@Cowboy_Mike_ Are they on Spotify?

The harmonica player in my aunt and uncles band just took a 15 minute solo and ended it like this

Textbook humblebrag

I love the flashlight subreddit

I’m a leftist in a sense that I don’t do anything concrete to help but I would never order a deli sandwich called the NYPD

Louie CK is back, baby -- and he;s jacking off more than ever!

Tweeted this like 6 months after Mac miller died, Mac’s fans had absolutely no sense of humor about it but I still think it’s so fucking funny

Good way to sound smart about music theory is whenever you hear harmonies of any kind say I hear the beach boys, definitely a beach boys influence because 99% of the time you'd be right

Honestly when was the last time a precedent WASN'T dangerous??!?

never having watched one episode of love island feels how being unvacced must feel

ya no hay ninguna diferencia entre scrollear en la vía pública y estar doblado por fentanilo

The only viable business models currently 1) selling alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sugar or anything with melted cheese 2) paywalled content you have to pay once a month for

He already fucking killed himself what more do you want?

makes me laugh every time. Homer’s genuinely upset as if it’s a regular grievance.

Pet peeve is when artists insist their work isn’t autobiographical when it clearly is

Boogie Nights Ocean's 11 Moonrise Kingdom Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

The male Lena Dunham is Adrian Grenier

@TitusAndronicus @bakedtweeets I gotta tap in on that Jersey Mike album

My boys do stay making bangers — @bakedtweeets has some great ones too and “Jersey” Mike Carson’s solo album of Bob Dylan classics arranged for solo jazz piano is coming along nicely — watch this space for updates

Elite soccer players: I am ze philosopher of ze pitch. I am an artist of footie you scum. Eat ze shit Elite baseball players: This sport is just a job. My true passion is riding my ATV around my ranch

I ordered a hot dog from the bar and the bartender threw an ice cube at me to let me know it was ready