Sgt Blackout 🫡@coldcallsniper
Easy way to have sex with a 10 without spending any money:
Step 1: Post on Hinge that you need a date for the game and that the tickets are courtside seats.
Step 2: Take out a personal loan, leverage your organs as collateral, and buy the tickets ($4,200).
Step 3: Tell her to wear something tight and pick her up in a Porsche (if you don’t have a Porsche, rent one).
Step 4: When you get to the game, ask what she wants to drink and say “be right back.” Go to the bathroom and put $4,200 on red on your phone. If it loses, double down. If that loses, triple down. If that loses, don’t panic—follow Step 5.
Step 5: Go back to the seats and tell her that the bar at the stadium doesn’t accept Bitcoin. Ask her if you can use her Amex. She will be impressed, say yes, and hand you her wallet. Then use her Amex to quadruple down, and if needed, quintuple down. There’s no way you can lose five times in a row, right?
Then go back to the seats and say, “You’re not going to believe this, but someone tried to steal your wallet. I chased him down, but he got away.” Act very sorry and sad. She will believe you, admire you for trying, and be happy to go home with you.
