DC 🦒

@irishwolf99 @fesshole

@fesshole Think it's time you took a good look in the mirror, mate. And I mean a proper look: not just a peek-at-you...

Bought a house with my girlfriend and thought the mortgage would be the stressful part. Instead the whole place is now a Pokémon daycare for her, every room taken over, and I'm too embarrassed to invite anyone round in case they think I'm raising a grown child.

Crystal Palace ball 🤤 #UECL | @CPFC

@AlbertDeclan @Haggis_UK Its the reform shared brain cell. Must be time to pass it to someone else for a bit.

@Haggis_UK What's trying to burst out of his forehead?

Zia Yusuf(Reform) really doesn't like being confronted with the fact that Reform candidates said they would cut or freeze council tax.

@jimdalycomedy Don't want to alarm you Jim, but it looks like that tower is about to fall on you!

Forza Palace. 🇮🇹

@fesshole You must live in a prime location.

Cancelled Prime. Not for any principled reason but because they built a distribution plant between my home and work, and a traffic light junction with it to let their vehicles in and out. It frequently delays me.

@anon_opin One's looking for worms to eat, the others worm food. Important to know the difference

That Robin's that hanging around you while you're doing the garden is keeping an eye out for worms. It's not your dead nan.

@HLTCO @C304TAG for Forest news 😉

A question for my followers… Who’s the most trusted Twitter account in relation to your club in terms of opinions and takes? It doesn’t matter which club you follow, I’m simply looking to put together a list of trusted commenters from every club I can. Cheers.

@willr171 @Phillyconcarne @_joegresham @StokeyyG2 I'll explain it, because no one else did and your eyes obviously aren't working. When someone has a fistful of your shirt and you run forwards while they're pulling it, there's resistance. Then when they let go, your momentum takes you forward suddenly, and you fall forwards.

@Phillyconcarne @_joegresham @StokeyyG2 Calling me retard while not even knowing Newtons fucking laws , you can’t fall forward when being pulled dumbass it could be Mr Bean for all I care it’s still just as embarrassing that you’re flexing that dive , I guess my team is too humble to throw themselves onto the floor

91st minute, drawing 1-1 and Sven Botman gives a penalty away for this… Beyond silly.

@anon_opin I thought this was anon opinion, not absolute bullshit opinion

S Club Juniors were better than S Club 7.

What even is sleep anymore 🙃

10/10 performance. Famous night at Selhurst. COME ON YOU PALACE. #CPFC

@TheGamerTek33 I'm already excited for the video tomorrow

Fiorentina brought on number 69 and we brought on BJ. Nice. #CPFC

@FPL_Churchill @CPFCHQ I get what you're sayint, but I'd argue they're not given enough. Anywhere else on the pitch thats a foul, so why wouldn't it be in the box?

@DC199001 @CPFCHQ I’d have been fuming if it had been the other way.

I need to see the Mitchell goal back. It looked hilarious 🤣 #CPFC

guess pineapple which is my pineapple least favourite pineapple topping

@CPFCHQ I didn't even celebrate as I assumed Munoz was miles offside....

@FPL_Churchill @CPFCHQ I don't think the pen was debatable. Ball had gone but was still in play and the player took both legs. Was a good spot by the ref.

@CPFCHQ Really was. Munoz weird acrobatics, Mateta misses a sitter (great save De Gea), Mitchell scores with a scuffed shot that goes in via a defenders leg and the post. Also very debatable penalty decision. But who cares. We’ve had so much bent refereeing in this tournament!

@Luke_Seychell @TalkCPFC I blame my son for the downfall that season. He was born the day after that Lee screamer, and suddenly we were shite. All his fault.

@TalkCPFC What a season that was, we were 6th in December after a Lee screamer away to stoke in stoppage time, but Bolasie got injured in the celebrations and I believe this Norwich game was our first win in the Premier League since that Stoke game, but we still got to an FA Cup final 😂😂

10 years ago today, Puncheon scored that goal vs Norwich to effectively keep us up, ahead of an FA Cup final that we lost. Fast forward to today, we're playing Fiorentina in a European QF following an FA Cup final which we won x.com/i/status/17221…

@PhilipLeworthy @anon_opin

@DC199001 @anon_opin It's hardly rocket science though, is it.

Ski jumping looks easy. You bend down while you slide down what is basically a flat rail, then jump and hold a weird position while gravity brings you down, then just stick the skis down at the same time and glide down. Where's the skill?