Michael Gary Scott, Dunder Mifflin (Parody)

THAT IS A $200 PLASMA SCREEN TV YOU JUST KILLED

@katttesquad hey twin

so it’s over for me

I promised to pay a bunch of kids’ college tuition then couldn’t follow through a decade later. They got laptop batteries instead.

@deotws @dystopiangf

There’s something so asexual about left-coded degeneracy. It’s HR-approved: free from danger, maximally inclusive, Corporate Memphis-like. It’s juvenile: comedically gross, full of play-pretend power dynamics, childishly rebellious against some real or imagined Christian father

@ryancohen @dblcap @gamestop It’s not great right now Ryan. Last 3 emails I’ve sent to GameStop support.

@dblcap @gamestop send me a DM with your order ID and the issue.

After my customer service experience with @gamestop I won’t give them my business again. Even your store front employees say the customer support is trash now. Poor customer care ruins companies. @ryancohen

the accuracy

I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.

guys: “girls are so dramatic” guys when their game lags:

Scott’s Thots

WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?

She is not yo ho no mo.

@BleacherReport @NBCOlympics I’m still the fastest man alive

Cole Hocker's STUNNING upset win in the men's 1500m 🔥 WHAT A MOMENT. (via @NBCOlympics)

2024 in a nutshell

The real secret to being an Olympic-level sprinter

@LylesNoah Race me.

I Told You America I Got This! #OlympicChampion

@LylesNoah Do you have rabies? It’s the silent killer

I have Asthma, allergies, dyslexia, ADD, anxiety, and Depression. But I will tell you that what you have does not define what you can become. Why Not You!

@BleacherReport They got nothing on me

AN UNREAL FINISH 🍿