Alan Partridge

Dan!

Fernando, you're 22 years old and you're spending your Saturday afternoon in bed with a girl. You're wasting your life!

"Partridge, you WANKER!"

I'm just gonna get a GINSTERS from the FRIDGE, put it on the SLATE.

Are you hairy Mary?

That's the last time we serve chocolate mousse on Valentines Day,House Keeping in a right old grump and 4 valances in the wash #dirtyprotest

Sunday, bloody Sunday.

Golly, an alien judge!

Incase you missed it... First drive in the @Lexus RCF. bit.ly/1xt2MkW #LexusRCF

Alright, you've come to use the excellent facilities but you're still a sex offender.

I've got more friends than you've got cows.

Tickets now on sale for our Valentines Day spectacular, all guests will be expected to leave the dinning room with some dignity

Go to London. I guarantee, you'll either be mugged or not appreciated.

Monkey tennis?

The boys are back in the barracks!

Get back in the lift Lynne!

Don't rub your fanny on me!

Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?

You threw a monkey in the sea? That's awful.

I've had some pretty late night sessions myself. In 1976, I saw E.L.O. at the Birmingham NEC.