Dan Docimo

My doctor says if I wanna make it to 60, I really need to stop climate change.

@abowlofserio the cause and effect is un freakin deniable

@abowlofserio Quit!

In the past tense it’s actually “Rush Limbaught”

@abowlofserio Go to sleep

Freakin absentee ballot cut my tongue while I was sealing it. I swear to god, Kermit the Frog better win.

Danny’s mini clip adventure part 1! #standup #comedy #standupcomedy instagram.com/p/CGELU3NhPVb/…

@abowlofserio This is wonderful

My wife and I are wishing the President a speedy resignation and are keeping the trump family out of our thoughts as best we can

@JustinGolak It just feels weird to believe something he tweets

The only dogshit take I've seen so far is that Trump is faking Covid to get out of the last 2 debates. It doesn't matter how you think he did, he thinks he crushed the debate. That's like saying he's faking so he can cancel rallies because he thinks they make him look buffoonish.

At least the president is probably used to telling people they “might wanna get tested”

White House doctor getting Trump’s bleach ready

You guys ever notice that slut shaming is called slut shaming

Wait a second... you can shake ANY weight!

Can’t wait for Jesus to come back. Rematch baby

I think the worst part of living in your car is probably pooping in your car

@anticapitalizm bUt FooTbAlL mAkEs U WiSe

@WizardJules This is wonderful

@joetidd @RUFFLES This opinion is trash

Hey @RUFFLES... Its 2020.. Lets get a bag of all folded chips already

@griffindore_Col 👑

Mike Ditka inherited a team with so many great players that my mom could have coached the ‘85 bears to a super bowl using the plays from Madden NFL 64. Don’t listen to Mike Ditka.