DG

@INTERIORPORN1 He's cleaning things that are already clean! They need to be dirrttyyyy first.

is this just porn for woman? This is so therapeutic 😭

@bushontheradio I had a chap have one during sexual intercourse, all over my face. It was not sexy.

Our 4 y/o had a nose bleed in bed the other night, absolute carnage. Have you ever had a dramatic nose bleed in an awkward situation?

@Matt_Pinner 19 for me, but then i am a 78 baby

7 for me!!….I feel confident nobody Has all 20!! How many for you?🤔

@bushontheradio Here you go my friend: @madeformums/photo/7579242067788844310" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">tiktok.com/@madeformums/p…

Question for other parents: How are you explaining Santa getting into the house to drop off the presents if you don't have a chimney? Have been under tough cross examination by the 7 year old.

@bushontheradio FunFact - back in the 90s, my parents home was used for a CrimeWatch reenactment. Think we got £300 for the pleasure!

Filming at someone's house today, they've put their property on a filming location website. What TV show / movie would your house be perfect for?

@kirawontmiss This is not The Rock. This is Dwayne, who lived inside The Rock bodysuit. He's just unzipped it and crawled on out.

The Rock is currently going viral after losing a lot of muscle👀

@HeidiBachram There's a word for people like her Heidi. Block and breathe.

An old friend who ‘broke up’ with us after October 7 because she didn’t like our bias towards our murdered and kidnapped relatives just sent me a message. It was Mandy Patinkin’s unhinged rant with the words “Shame on you”. She has never once sent us sympathy for our dead. Instead she has posted a disgusting piece about how well Hamas took care of the hostages. I wrote back: Shame on her.

@lauralu13 @leeroyfunklove @NordicLight10 @LGBTSRH @kuaroo_ @jk_rowling Free the hostages🎗️

@leeroyfunklove @DaniGraph @NordicLight10 @LGBTSRH @kuaroo_ @jk_rowling She’s a genocide loving fash freak

I've never seen film footage before where only one character has been sped up to 30x natural speed.

@leeroyfunklove @lauralu13 @NordicLight10 @LGBTSRH @kuaroo_ @jk_rowling Just my ADHD of course

@DaniGraph @lauralu13 @NordicLight10 @LGBTSRH @kuaroo_ @jk_rowling love to know what your excuse is

@lauralu13 @NordicLight10 @LGBTSRH @kuaroo_ @jk_rowling ADHD doesn't stop you being a cunt though

@NordicLight10 @LGBTSRH @kuaroo_ @jk_rowling He’s got ADHD you clown

A slice of paradise in Woodford Green, Essex, yours for £1.5m, but it is glorious: rightmove.co.uk/properties/163…

@HeidiBachram Christmas round his place must be fun.

I never thought he would go this far.

@MahyarTousi The Pager's Mate

I will be opening the first ever British pub in Tehran. What should we call it?

@Beska Sending thoughts and prayers Ben. Condolences to you x x x

I’m sorry to announce whoever still cares about this saga that Barney unfortunately died today. 🙏

@screentime Perfection

Katherine Parkinson has been cast as Molly Weasley in the 'HARRY POTTER' TV show

Hi @Dawn_French , Oscar nominated comedy writer here. I parked my career and came to Israel in the weeks after October 7 to document the massacre committed by the Islamic fundamentalists Hamas - whose goal remains to exterminate every Jew on earth What you sneeringly mock as a “bad thing” included the grieving children I met in hospital whose friends and family had been murdered, kidnapped and raped and who themselves were coming to terms with their own life-altering injuries It also includes the 1200 people murdered and tortured on October 7th - some of which I saw in a 47 minute compilation of footage Hamas filmed This included women whose faces were like smashed crockery on the floor, broken into pieces after having been repeatedly shot Children being deliberately blown up with grenades Men getting their heads hacked off with garden tools Dead babies in nappies with their throats cut Blackened corpses smouldering after burning all night Raped women with their arms and legs broken and twisted into bizarre shapes I imagine you think you are moral and righteous and taking a stand against pain and suffering But not only do you remain intellectually incurious about who the architect of all this suffering is, (Hamas), not only do you fail to say NO to them in front of your audience and condemn them for their retention of the hostages, use of human shields, fighting from Hospitals, schools and civilian compounds, not only do you fail to do this, you proactively broadcast - with misplaced pride - a wicked glee in your mockery and dismissal of Jewish suffering, pain and death - and the predicament Israel faces trying to get back hostages from a genocidal, jihadist terror organisation that is happy for everyone - including their own people - to die - if it helps them continue their plan to exterminate the Jews You really are a grim and miserable little shit, aren’t you?

@NiqabNancy They are stealing all the pickles. ALL THE PICKLES

Out of ideas for tweets. What should I blame the Jews for today?

@JamesBlunt James, I'm in Barkingside in Essex - how the hell am i meant to find those tickets all the way over there? Also, is there any blue badge parking for my husband? Ta x

Two free tickets to my concert at Summer Stage, Central Park, NYC on 17th June. Come and find them…

Luckily, science doesn't give a fuck what you believe.

I don't hear much from Terence Trent D'Arby these days.