🇺🇸 Daniel Luna 🇲🇽

Proof that being gentle and fun costs nothing but spreads so much joy.

That moment when you forget which glass you poisoned

No. Im sick of the world catering exclusively to you day walkers. I don't even have 24/7 hour Walmart or McDonald's anymore.

Someone just used AI, put himself in Titanic (1997) and fixed everything fans were complaining about for years. 😂

LMAOOOOOOOOO

You know how ridiculous of a lie you have to tell for trump to break character? Lmao

this woman is threatening the president @FBI

I won my lawsuit against TSA months ago. TSA agreed to pay my legal fees and my court filing fee. My lawyer, @Stambo2A, STILL HAS NOT BEEN PAID. If TSA does not make the payment by tomorrow, we will be filing a motion to compel payment.

Anna Faris getting down with Valak from the Conjuring in Mexico City while promoting Scary Movie 6 ⚰️😭

(I am taking a table's order.) Me: "Okay, sir. What can I get for you to eat?" Customer: "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger, but if they add bacon to it, I don't want bacon." Me: "So, do you want a regular cheeseburger?" Customer: "No. I want my burger to have bacon on it. But if it comes with bacon, then I don't want bacon." (I have absolutely no idea what he is asking for, and all his friends seem to be as confused as I am.) Me: "Okay, just to make sure I am understanding you correctly, I am going to repeat what you are asking for." Customer: "Okay." Me: "You want a bacon cheeseburger, and if there is bacon on it, you don't want the bacon." Customer: "Right." Me: "But you definitely want the bacon on the burger." Customer: "Right." (Now all his friends are laughing, and I have no idea what to say. Suddenly, the customer realizes what he's been saying.) Customer: "PICKLES! Oh my God, I don't want PICKLES on the burger!" Me: "Oh, thank God! I was starting to think I went crazy!"

😭😭😭😭

One of the strangest things about America 🇺🇸… You meet people making $300k/year who are anxious, exhausted, medicated, and can barely sleep at night. Then you go to Mexico 🇲🇽… and see some guy running a small restaurant, barely breaking even… but he’s laughing with friends, drinking mezcal at lunch, hugging customers, and sleeps perfectly fine at night.

18 years ago, Tanisha woke up the house with pots and pans in 'Bad Girls Club'

The craziest thing about UFOs is that Donald Trump rapes children while losing wars he started to distract you from the raping of children.

@YourNymph0_ No one so far is likable… at least to me lol

Lmaooo Jayda a bully, Seis blu is confused about his sexuality. And a lot of them aren’t standing on shit. They fighting for

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.” “What do you mean?” says the pirate. “I feel fine.” The bartender says, “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” The pirate replies, “We were in a battle and I got hit by a cannonball. But I’m fine now.” The bartender nods. “Alright… but what about the hook? What happened to your hand?” “Another battle,” says the pirate. “I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off, so I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really.” The bartender asks, “Okay then… what about the eye patch?” The pirate says, “Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew overhead. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye.” The bartender says, “You lost an eye from bird poop?” The pirate replies, “It was my first day with the hook.”

Wow, I'm looking through these new UFO files and the aliens say Epstein r*ped children with Donald Trump