Danny Salter

I often get stopped in the streets by strangers who ask me where I buy my dope threads. Well, that's not exactly true. Okay, I haven't walked the streets or worn clothes for at least seven years. But if I did, I'd buy my happening threads from the official Basement Booty store at dannysalter.com Exclsuive new designs on T-shirts, Hoodies, Notebooks, Workout Tanks, Mugs, Pillows, Beanies, Bikini Bottoms, and more. Still no home-brewed toilet wine yet but we’re working on it.

@Martynw34 He's been playing in Q School for the last ten years but very rarely wins a frame.

Another good player from yester year when i reminisce about Snooker is Dean Reynolds, the left hander from Grimsby , good solid pro back in the days & by memory was not very old when he retired from playing, never hear about him now #snooker

@KatDownie2 @SimonWhistler That would have been quite mean of me if the restaurant was in Scotland.

I dreamt last night I was at a restaurant and met @SimonWhistler - he was nice enough, but because I wasn't using the wifi to watch one of his videos, he made me go and collect and pay for his family's meal. @DannySalter was the staff member who wouldn't take Scottish money 😅

Should have a new unsolved Casual Criminalist landing this weekend. It's a tragic, mysterious, and baffling case, not made any clearer by a coroner's report which appeared to make absolutely no sense whatsoever...

RIP Rob Grant.

Awkward conversations in unmarked police cars: "So, did you get anything nice for your birthday?"

@KatysOffice I'm saving up all these responses for next time it happens. Probably this Friday.

@DannySalter Thanks for the view 👍🏼

I've had three very similiar conversations down the pub over the last month: "Oy, Salter! I tried watching one of your videos the other day." "Really? Did you like it?" "Nah, I switched it off after five minutes." "Umm...okay." Not sure how I'm supposed to respond to that?

@Gedgerax Oh, good one!

@DannySalter ".....so you missed the naked part?...That's the best bit!"

@fouldsy147 @StevenTrevor @baizewatch @EdwardsTips_ @kellietext @SnookerHeroes @147155snooker I never realised you wore glasses, did you end up getting contact lenses or were you just wearing them as a fashion statement?

@StevenTrevor @baizewatch @EdwardsTips_ @kellietext @SnookerHeroes @147155snooker This was definitely my first TV appearance and as you can probably see I was terrified. 😬

@CaptVanGarrett Yep, I liked it but felt that it shouldn't have been called Dirk Gently. Did you see the short-lived BBC series of Dirk Gently? I really enjoyed that.

@DannySalter Might end up with something wildly different. Did you see what they did with Dirk Gently? I enjoyed the show, but it sure as shit wasn't the books.

Why has nobody ever thought to make TV adaptations of the later Hitchhikers books by Douglas Adams? Isn't it about time Netflix remade them all from the beginning? Who do I need to telephone about this?

@grahammorgan101 The '80s BBC TV series is one of my favourite things ever, I'd love to have seen the later books done in a similiar style.

@DannySalter Given the insanity of the books and how hard it would be to put them on screen, I would love to see it, but I dont know how it would happen.

My latest script for Decoding The Unknown should surface in the next few hours. But who's this unlikely character? (Not the guy on the right.)

I’m trying to save up for a new typewriter after I lost the old one in a high-stakes game of ‘Hungry Hungry Hippos.’ So until the end of January, I’m offering a 10% discount on all official Blazement products from my ‘Basement Booty’ store at dannysalter.com Just enter the code COCAINE at Checkout to active the sitewide discount. Unique designs forged by editor Julian Vu, available on T-shirts, Hoodies, Notebooks, Workout Tanks, Mugs, Pillows, Beanies, and String Bikini Bottoms. Get some String Bikini Bottoms. Seriously, why is nobody buying the String Bikini Bottoms?

Jeffrey Archer: A charming genius, a trailblazing politician, a talented best-selling writer, a lovable rogue, or just a massive bellend? My latest script for Scandal delves into the bizarre life and times of Baron Archer of Weston-super-Mare, otherwise known as Tuppence. youtu.be/EB44ZY2VVMw?si…

@trussliz "At least I got namechecked in Donald Trump's lawsuit," said Liz as she choked back the tears and flipped another burger.

The BBC has lied repeatedly and should be defunded. As quoted in President Trump's law suit:

Another two of my scripts landed on YouTube this week. On ‘Decoding the Unknown’ hosted by Simon Whistler, we take a look at why the 1995 film ‘Braveheart’ might not be entirely accurate, ponder over how much it really matters, and conclude that it might have worked out better if they’d put more Hobbits in there. Over on ‘Scandal’ hosted by Jake Clapham, we delve into the life and career of Rolf Harris and examine his fall from grace which apparently had nothing to do with his cover of ‘Stairway to Heaven’