Darth Benzo

@TraceyRyniec @LeannaRapier Totes a shitty 80's TV remake...

@LeannaRapier The Fall Guy wasn't a remake and it bombed, despite good reviews.

Maybe part of the reason Project Hail Mary is doing so well in theaters is because it isn’t a remake of a remake of a remake…

@LynneDi92692065 @muchado33 That first hot hose hit too. Young kids never remembered to let it flow a sec.

@muchado33 What about drinking from the garden hose when you were young?

Facts🤣😂🤣😂

@sassyhobbit Quick! Go try a USB!

I correctly lined up the two sides of a Ziploc bag on the first try and I’ve never felt more drunk with power.

BREAKING: I just motioned to subpoena Don Trump Jr. for funneling $670 million in taxpayer dollars to a critical minerals company he has financial stake in. Republicans left the hearing room.

@holy_schnitt The same real ID that won't be good enough to let you vote...

I will say at the very end of my endless tsa line a woman didn’t have a real id and it caused genuine pandemonium like we’d all been pretty chill until then but it only took a minor inconvenience to make us turn against our fellow man… and there’s a lesson there

Trump is trying so hard to do an ICE rebrand as the "nice guys" like we forgot about all the kidnappings and murders they did

@Turbinetraveler Those "footrest" are gonna be broken in weeks.

Here are the actual images of United's "Relax Row," taken by a Redditor. 📸: u/CommanderDawn

Trump: "The Public is loving ICE. They are Great American Patriots, they just happen to have much larger, and harder, muscles than most — which is what they’re supposed to have. Thank you to ICE for the GREAT job you are doing. America very much appreciates it! President DONALD J. TRUMP"

Explains everything...

@Mollyploofkins Sleet at best...

Junior ICE

@0liviajulianna Almost faster to drive to AUS/DFW and fly from there.

A real message I just sent to someone because there’s not a fucking chance I’m flying right now.

@atrupar Works in the rest of the world...

Q: President Trump has railed against mail in voting, but yesterday he voted by mail in Florida. How do you square that? MIKE JOHNSON: Look, I think some states have handled mail-in balloting well. Florida is a good example of that. They don't allow fraud. That's not true in other parts of the country.

@DenisonBarbs @atrupar And peddle guitars

@atrupar Trump has been very busy golfing and attending fundraisers at Mar-A-Lago.

FOX NEWS: Why isn't Trump involved in trying to end the government shutdown? MIKE JOHNSON: I think he is involved FOX NEWS: He shot down the plan yesterday JOHNSON: Well, that's what's been reported FOX NEWS: He said it in the Oval Office

@BrettBAuto @eatinerni Was before private equity ruined the amount of meat/veggies. They're noticeably smaller now

@eatinerni Jersey Mikes is better than both put together.

Subway is better than Jimmie John’s

@luxemiaa Pisses me off to no end, especially now that airlines are charging more for better seats. I paid the extra $40 for leg room and my flight 2 months ago for the window so gtfo

This woman said: Just boarded my connecting flight home from Tokyo and guess what? Someone is sitting in my window seat 😂 I can’t make this stuff up… twice in one day! I told them they were sitting in my seat and they replied “can you sit over there because we’re all together?” I said “no”. They were taking too long to move so I motioned the flight attendant and she yelled “take your assigned seats so we can go!”. The man got up and moved across the aisle to his.......

@atrupar Awesome news, especially when you can buy "costume" badges on Amazon. I guess he didn't have enough money for the rest of the cosplay.

reported ICE presence at the Mall of America today "Seen near Log Chute ride at Nickelodeon Universe. Agent wearing normal clothes, with badge in the middle of chest. He stopped a woman, asked her for US ID and raised his voice."

@future_liz An Imax 70mm screen here had a 2:30 am screening this morning of Hail Mary. It was pretty full

i do think more movie theaters should sell coffee. my AMC has cans of Monster and i used to wonder who was buying energy drinks there, until i saw Lawrence of Arabia at 9 pm and bought one during the intermission

@Nymdpadc625692 @girlcloudnine Stayed there after a grand canyon trip. Totally agree

@girlcloudnine Flagstaff, AZ super 8 is real nice 👍

I love being in a clean midrange chain hotel. Far superior to an Airbnb. They got waffle makers and shit here

@VictoriaEgreen At least it's easy to block the bigots

Why is everyone acting like this is the first Pride Night the Stars have ever had?? we’ve been doing this for 6+ years y’all

@WUTangKids If they need that many magazines, they shouldn't be carrying firearms.

Wow