Dave Weasel

@sbentley4 @mulaney @NetflixIsAJoke I’d still be able to have children, but would have to sit down to pee

“Baby J” is one today. Thank you for watching.

🤨You were named appropriately. 😑

@MrJonCryer @WilliamShatner That’s actually from both of us

When your 8 year old nephew flexes his muscles at you

@marknorm Weight could be a huge number

Age is actually a huge factor

Holy SHIT Shane Gillis.I thought he’d talk a little more about the ‘situation’ but he didn’t need to because he was too busy killing it

@elonmusk Why Texas over Wyoming?

SpaceX has moved its state of incorporation from Delaware to Texas! If your company is still incorporated in Delaware, I recommend moving to another state as soon as possible.

White power bottom

This is what happens when the NFL lets Peacock, a streaming platform, air an NFL game 😂

@StephenKing I was called a Hollywood elitist the same day I forgot to wear a belt and had to tie my belt loops together with a lanyard keychain

@OllyMHarland @valleyboyspod HUMBUG

@DaveWeasel @valleyboyspod Can’t even be arsed to say bah humbug back! 🤷🏼‍♀️😂😂. What a grump.

In 2012 @DaveWeasel was wearing a fedora and I was looking at wedding dresses. We all make mistakes. Make more, listen to @valleyboyspod 🐷 🐷 🐷

@RehbellOne @SeibertOrisis Nah dude you’re good. If anything it’s a compliment. My other tattoos are so old and Shitty and when I first got them it looked like I tripped through some barbed wire.

Got a Simpsons tattoo today by London Reese at Black Lantern in Dana Point CA

@Dannyjokes That’s cool, I’m sure the guy I worked with in Winnipeg named Gurjeet that hit me with his car would be thrilled if he gave a shit about hockey

I’m hoping this trend makes it to America and they do the US national anthem in Arabic before a Dallas Cowboys game

@JohnMayer @prsguitars @EricClapton @CrossRoadsCentr @3M Not ugly

This unique @prsguitars Silver Sky prototype is one of the many items up for bid in the @EricClapton Crossroads Guitar Festival auction to raise funds for @CrossRoadsCentr drug and alcohol rehabilitation. Prototype wrap by @3M! entertainment.ha.com/c/auction-home…

@CollinRugg I hope he doesn’t have to pay that little cash grabbing asshole one cent

NEW: Mike Tyson is facing a "pre-litigation settlement demand" for $450,000 from a man who he beat up on a JetBlue flight. Back in 2022, Tyson was caught on camera beating up passenger, Melvin Townsend. The man says his life has been hard since the incident and has to deal with "severe headache and neck pain" and "is still suffering with the effects of the assault to this day." Townsend's lawyers also say he lost several jobs because of the incident and can't pay for ongoing medical care. Tyson's lawyers say this is just an attempted shakedown. "I have received a shakedown letter related to some instigator’s harassment of Mike a year ago and the aftermath. There will be no shakedown payment."

@JimGaffigan I gained a lot of weight during the pandemic. And before it. And since the pandemic.

Fatting out of clothes is good for the economy more here: youtu.be/LDOFO1qAx-4?si…