Daveth 🦘

@bushontheradio quiz on my face

What's the best PUB QUIZ TEAM NAME you've ever heard?

the best custom map in a game is scoutsknives and i'm tired of pretending it wasn't

@itsme_urstruly they usually have a dog patrolling to scare off the birds here. looks like he wasn't on duty that day.

Now I understand why the shop staff gave her a food cover

@vrycuul you can pretty much say anything you fucking vanilla cheesecake

i want to become well versed in british insults

Do they call nine-eleven eleven-nine in the US?

@florenncess 1 latte please with extra microplastics

Is this a print or what?

@DrewVento always meet your heroes 🩵

Bam Margera morphing into Phil Margera before our eyes is amazing to witness

@BigBirdfyx and taste like a when you lick a 9v battery with a mouthful of coins

If her pussy smell like roses she sprayed it with women's axe or sum weird shit cuz natural pussy smell like the heat coming out the back the PS4

@mexifloritexan @themarinadove I always wake up with a song in my head. TIL

@themarinadove I always thought the looping thoughts and music thing was ADHD?

no because i’ve always had looping thoughts/can hear music stuck in my head on repeat that isn’t depression related. it’s more like the OCD makes me feel crazy and then i’m depressed bc it’s not being treated

@VHSDVDBLURAY4K nightmare fuel

Note to self don’t ever use furniture from IKEA for vinyl

@Bucko42687014 @kunley_drukpa You can be critical/pass comment on someone without resorting to using slurs. Difference being no one uses 'Brit' as an insult. To pretend they are the same is ignorant or unnecessarily cruel.

@Davethx @kunley_drukpa grow up and stop being a slave of language. abbo, brit, scot, aussie, paki, it is all the same method of shortening. Ironically, by calling out the terms "paki" and "abo" you are isolating them and claiming they don't get to be called as such, you are treating them like babies.

BUYING ALCOHOL FOR ABORIGINALS 🇦🇺 Aboriginals really striking in appearance in person when you meet them for the first time. Very distinctive physiognomies, don’t want to call their look archaic but that is closest descriptor I can think of One thing about having these kinds of facial features is that they make the people look much older than they actually are. Was in Alice Springs in Australia, this is ‘major’ outback town in the Northern Territory. They have a lot of ‘abbos’ milling around in groups here, you walk around and they’re all sprawled out on the grass together. Lots of them aren’t really employed and many get some kind of government grant. Very hard not to stare because if you’ve never seen full-blooded aboriginals in real life before (like I hadn’t up until that point) like I say they’re quite distinctive looking Walking around the town, there’s a group of abbos milling in a park. One of the women comes up to me: [In a very strong bogan Australian accent while repeatedly scratching her face] “Ah yeah hey mate how’s it going mate you alright mate hey I couldn’t trouble you for sam help could I?” Was one of first times and I had spoken to an aboriginal before “What do you need?” “Ah yeah mate well see it’s my birthday mate yah know and ah I was just wondering if you could go in the bottle-o for me and grab us a few stubbies yah know” [scratches face again] Because of her very distinctive facial features was finding it difficult to focus on what she was saying, was looking directly into her eyes, couldn’t really take much in… “Why can’t you go in and buy some drinks for yourself?” “Ah yeah naw well we’re not allowed yah see they don’t let us buy alcohol yah see because they think we’re a right load of miscreants ah yeah but you look like a nice bloke could ya go and do it for me?” “They don’t let you buy alcohol” “Yeah they reckon we’ll start causing all kinds of trouble. Nah it’s not right” [scratches her face again] “If you’re not allowed I don’t want to get in trouble myself buying it for you” “Ah come on mate come on please it’s my birthday ah I just want one little drinkie on my birthday mate” “I don’t know…” “Ah come on mate go on come on mate” [jittering] “I’m not sure” “Mate we’re just chilling out a bit at the park on my birthday just want to unwind it’s no harm mate come on help us out mate” [scratches her face again] “It’s really your birthday?” “Yeahhh” “How old are you? You must be 40 or so right?” Thing is here in my head I thought I was really lowballing it - as I say the facial features they have make them look really old. Genuinely could not tell, had no mental model for it. Thought in reality though she must have been anywhere up to about 60. The weathered skin, the nasolabial folds, the brow ridge… “I’m 18 mate” she replies

@CrimeLdn it's just baking powder

Undercover police try and arrest a man outside screwfix in Brixton for dealing Class a drugs and as they try to arrest him the drugs go everywhere..

@plzseekhelp @dreamergirl2727 gotta get your story straight

@dreamergirl2727 i usually figure what im gonna lie about like 30 mins beforehand

does anyone else rehearse what they’re gonna say in therapy or should i bring this up in therapy

@gothamgrrls this shit slaps btw

all hail

@realRick_AUS i see your pathetic spread and raise you. vegemite level: extreme

This is the perfect butter to Vegemite ratio, Anything else is retarded

@CliveMyrieBBC I was at this game, the vibes after the game were ELECTRIC. Everyone believed from that moment forward we would win the league that year

“Don’t shoot Vinnie! Don’t shoot!”- Sergio Aguero. #mcf

@Saskiaaa_____ massively overrated comedy

Jimmy Carr. Massively underrated intelligence.

@rosoddle peak

feeling like a white boy in a 2008 basement high playing world of warcraft the burning crusade

obsessed with this no context Hinge opener