Neil

@JonjoOday @fesshole It used to cost 20p to put some air in your tyres but now it's a quid. I guess that's inflation for you!

@fesshole Didn’t know ‘Premium Air’ existed till I had to top up a tyre at a BP forecourt. No other option offered except driving on a flat

My mate is obsessed with things being "premium", especially when it comes to beer as you can apparently "taste the quality". Every time it's my round in the pub, I get him a carling in a fancy glass. He hasn't noticed a thing.

@anon_opin What?

I don't give a damn how good the passthrough mode is on your headphones/earbuds. If you don't remove them during a conversation, you are a prick.

Smoothest loss prevention you'll ever see and the guy didn't even work there 😆

Thankyou Google maps for protecting the cow's privacy

@boardsofcanada 2026 just got 10,000 times better.

@NickDTRT @ruth_wishart Spot on. I think it was Jack Dee, years ago, that said (and I'm paraphrasing now) "Let's see how far you get delivering that letter with your £1.80 train ticket".

@ruth_wishart Why is everyone getting hot and bothered about the cost of a stamp? You couldn’t deliver a letter yourself for £1.80. Seems like a good deal to me. Fuel up Wages up NI up What does everyone expect Royal Mail to do?

Does nobody at Royal Mail see the rather obvious connection between very expensive stamps and less stuff being posted?

@FootyScran @Binfieldfc Roast potatoes at the footy? Absolutely mental. (Still would tho)

Easter special - roast lamb baguette with roast potatoes at Binfield FC (@Binfieldfc) 💷 £6.50

@20th_Centurygal "Hello there. Can I have fish and chips on eat now, pay later please?"

In your opinion, what song has the best opening line?

What the Pringles see.

This AI shite needs to stop man. Wait for Ashley Cole haha.

RIP Peter Crouch 😂

@LORDLJS @fesshole Absolutely. Dolly Parton didn't sing "working nine 'til half five".

@fesshole "Sure, will handle it Monday" If i'm paid until 1700 then I finish at 1700.

Boss of a small company. Some of my employees clearly time emails to arrive Fridays at 5:00. I've used AI to program responses of "this needs a few edits, get back to me ASAP." I'm already off for happy hour.

@fesshole Probably never fresh to start with so, hey, not gonna do you any harm.

Back to work after a three week holiday. Found a Muller Corner in my desk drawer that I'd forgotten about on my last day. Two weeks out of date and stored at room temperature. Still looked and smelled OK. Ate it. Didn't die. What the hell is in that stuff?

@NoContextBrits Or better still - buy none, get none free!

@fesshole Love that "Fuck you AI" is particularly succinct.

AI has taken my job. I'm that guy in the office who you used to ask how to word an email when you needed it to be particularly succinct, whatever the subject matter, I was there for you. There are thousands of us. Fuck you AI.

The Magic Of Tony Hart

@NoContextBrits This should be national news. On the front page of all newspapers. Gutted for the lad.

Apols if i posted before, just in case you want to hear the full length song we wrote for the Simpson's Scottish episode, we took lyrical cues from the script writers, the tune is a mash of melodies from Sarah and I, but they wanted it to start like "Judy" youtu.be/bIKLPMxLeG8?si…

@fesshole Eau de toilet

Expensive aftershave when you're 16 years old is very important to you. When your 13 year old brother starts helping himself there is only one thing for it! When the bottle emptied I filled it with my urine on the advice of my grandad and let my brother spray himself for weeks!