Chris Demmel

My heart skipped a beat...

It is an absolutely wild standard that websites now ask if they can send you notifications

@mikeduncan LOOKIN GOOD MIKE!

@HardcoreHistory As long as you're willing to talk, we're all willing to listen

Doing a little crowdsourcing here (and be serious gang) what do you think is the right amount of time for one of my live appearances to last? We did about an hour an 45 minutes in LA and SLC and I can't tell if that was too long, too short or just right. Given the ticket prices, how long would you expect the show to go?

@stoolpresidente Dog just hit the jackpot

Miss Peaches sees the new digs for the 1st time

I've never anticipated an album more... @lildickytweets

@ryneschill this is a good tweet

People act like Mariota didnt even play in the NFL He has almost 16,000 passing yards and a TD/INT ratio of 92/54 while on bad teams w/ little help The Titans failed him early, and age has caught him now. But he was still a fine NFL QB and has played in the league for a decade.

@flea333 And then the key changes, decimating any leftover doubt that he just wants to see that thong

the great thing about The Thong Song is you can really feel his earnest yearning to see that thong

As a society, in general, we don't talk enough about Flubber

@mumtuum This is why I come here

@image_origins Go ducks

@historyinmemes The Ides of March, 44 BC

If you could witness any moment in history, which one would you choose?

I guess it’s not funny

Trying to think of a funny tweet about the riots in France but I croissant think of anything

There’s gotta be a tweet somewhere predicting the fight between Zuck and Musk in the Coliseum. It simply has to exist. #nostradamus #nostradumbass

Has everyone really forgotten about the island boys?? Why are they still not a big deal??

So here’s my problem with orphans… …it doesn’t excuse being comic book vigilantes

This is the worst app in history. Needless to say, it’s addictive. @elonmusk follow me I dare you

What if instead on cancelling student loans we just cancel the interest? Good idea, right? I got more. Stand by. @POTUS Plz follow me

Being on twitter makes me want to do literally anything else