celllule☭🔻

CELLLULE - OSAMA BIN CELLLULE (audio)

@vxmpcore_ Sorry I was aggressive I was thinking about not being a horse and it made me angry

@vxmpcore_ Well you're not a horse so shut the fuck up

if i was a horse and i was led to diet coke i would drink it

Ps I do vote and I take responsibility for my mistakes. You people are all the same. Y'all believe in meritocracy and say "if you don't succeed it's because you don't work hard enough and spend too much". But when we tell you we DO work hard enough and never spend money on useless shit and it still doesn't work because the prices are too high and wages too low you say "well life's unfair, get over it". You can't conceive of thinking "well life's unfair, we should do something about it so everyone can have opportunities". So how do you think capitalism works? Is life fair, where a kid born to a dad who, let's say, owns an emerald mine and a kid whose single mom has to work 2 jobs to pay rent have the EXACT same chances of becoming a trillionaire if both of them put in the same amount of work and effort (definition of meritocracy)? Or are we NOT in a meritocracy, because obviously some people hoard most of the money for themselves and their families and make it almost impossible for the working class to progress past the upper-middle class? Because they buy the politicians making the laws, therefore the laws stay in their favor. They get to not pay BILLIONS in taxes and it's fine it's just "loopholes" (we should close them) but if I, who gets taxed a higher percentage of my income than any billionaire, make a mistake, then I'm fucked. Stop defending people who would kill you for 1000$

@Deymaa2 @Average_Joe67 @McCarthyist2 $8 a month here and I'm sure $1000 other nonsense purchases. You're all the same, blaming everyone else for your failures. Let me guess, you don't vote either?

I hate having to lock my door at night to stop trillionaires from breaking into my home.

I bought that shit yesterday because I was tired of having to reply to myself in order to finish my sentences. Other than that I have YouTube premium (15$ ish) because I need it for sampling music and the ads were unbearable. 275$ per year total I could save, I should be able to buy a house with that. I bought my 2010 car cash and I pay low insurance. I pay around 45$/month for my phone plan. I don't eat out except maybe fast food once every 2 weeks. I never go out. My phone is 5yo. I spend around 75$ every 2 months on weed. I work full time as an educator in daycare. All my clothes are thrifted. I never took a plane. I'm in school too because I want to be paid more. Ive been working since my 15th birthday. I have savings. Now you know pretty much exactly how I live. And guess what? I STILL CAN'T AFFORT A FUCKING HOUSE!!! Even if I save every penny, in 5 years time the prices will have doubled and I still won't be able to afford it. If I lived in the 90s, I could do exactly what I do now and have no problem building my life. You can't budget your way out of a recession

@301pushups You have no phone either, that's just the sound of people wailing in agony in the train

Listening to “people wailing in agony” on the train with no headphones at full volume

@mclIark Actually dentists have no teeth and are ashamed of the irony that's why they wear a mask

why can’t i put my fingers in the dentists mouth

@sadhog12 Yes but it's piss

i can turn wine into water

@vxmpcore_ You need to learn a specific technique

what if boobs farted

@yeuxmako Shave that hoe and scam old men with booty pics

what do u do if you're a dude but ur butt kinda fat

@xbawxbaws Hi I'm from 2015. Have you ever heard of Justin Bieber or Pharrell? I've got two songs that are gonna fucking blow your mind

I don't feel sorry or happy

@faget9261530128 Get it out get it out stomp his ass down the drain

theres a merman in my bathtub

@thewarlock34 No everyone is normar

Have you ever met someone weird

@isaacturnersong The other cat from grafield

I'm With Normal

@isaacturnersong Peanut. At the same time?

So you admit you're a peanut

@RapedAtWendys Michel du Fromage

Have y'all heard of cheesy miachel

@bettyjaws Why would it do that

if a stuffed animal was going 50 miles per hour and it hit u would u die or nah

@isaacturnersong Attorney general under Bush Sr. Anything else dumbass

Who is googlle . Com?

@OldRattleMan - I said to myself, as I secretly mixed the peanuts and the bees in her porridge (she is deathly allergic to peanuts and mildly allergic to bees)

just pretend it smells normal babe please babe

@faget9261530128 1984

the zoo wont accept my request to put disabled old people in the gorilla exhibit

@thetransitagend No we will ban storms so there would be no need anyway

im bored and wanna start some shit: should storm chasers exist under socialism?