Doug Fischer

A late-night TED Talk… let’s go: Biglaw attorneys prioritize work and money over family and quality of life. It’s not a “narrative.” It’s a fundamental and unavoidable byproduct of the incentives created by the system in which they operate. Now I’ll concede that no two situations are ever alike, sure. And we need to begin by defining what we mean by “biglaw.” All colloquial descriptions of “biglaw” work share the same two central tenets: First, it’s very important work and the consequences for failure are very high. Second, and largely as a result, it’s very demanding and VERY expensive. When I (and most others) talk about “biglaw,” we don’t mean firms with large head counts comprised of crappy low-cost attorneys doing uneventful work. We mean AmLaw 50 firms hired for “bet the company” transactions and litigation. Think this through: You’re the general counsel for a major company with a high-stakes transaction or litigation that needs help fast. Everything is on the line. If it gets fucked up, best case you’re fired. Worst case, your company fails. You’re being watched closely by your CEO, and the board is watching them. Everyone’s ass is on the line… You hire XYZ firm and agree to pay a gobsmacking $2,000+ per hour. First week in, you can’t reach your outside counsel because they’re playing patty-cake with their kids? Hell no! Not for this project and not for $2K+ an hour. Guess who wants to make $2K an hour? Everyone! Including the guy at ABC firm competing with XYZ. That guy will work through his mother’s funeral for $2K per hour. Work backwards: who gets the work moving forward? This ain’t rocket science, guys. But it gets worse. Now imagine you’re an associate at ABC firm working for that maniac. He hires you out of law school at $225K with ZERO experience. By year three, you’re making $300K+ in total compensation. Guess what he expects? You’ll work through your mother’s funeral, too. Why? Because if you won’t, for that money someone else will. And he needs you to grind to secure his $2K an hour. And it’s WAY worse for you as an associate: no visibility, no control, and no ability to say no. In AmLaw 50, this isn’t one or two projects… it’s every project, every day, 24/7/365. So can you scrape up anecdotes suggesting it will be different for you? Sure… But you are not different. And eventually the laws of the universe will catch up to you.

Lawyers bragging to their lawyer friends like “I absolutely roasted opposing counsel in my brief” when in reality in one sentence in their response brief they alleged opposing counsel’s argument was “without merit”

Professional sports are a visible example of a merit-based system, but through the Rooney Rule, the NFL requires its teams to use race-based hiring practices. We are putting Commissioner Roger Goodell on notice: the Rooney Rule violates Florida law, and it must stop.