Draggin Father Behind

7.3K posts

Draggin Father Behind

Draggin Father Behind

@DragginFatherB

Dad of 3 under 10 whos at most a 6 with an 11 scale wife just keepin it comical & muddlin thru. Fueled by 🥃 & ☕. Featured on @TheDad, @todayshow, @huffpost

Katılım Aralık 2021
1.2K Takip Edilen1.9K Takipçiler
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Draggin Father Behind
Draggin Father Behind@DragginFatherB·
Well we're all here, so I'll start: I'm continually bullied by my three year-old
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@sherisayssit
@sherisayssit@sherisayssit·
I like to keep gps in check by telling her she’s not the boss of me.
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Draggin Father Behind
Draggin Father Behind@DragginFatherB·
Our kids walk in the door smelling their mom's experimental cooking <gagging>, first child: “UGH! It smells like bad cheese.” Other child: “No I think it’s rotten eggs.” The last child won’t even come back in the house without his astro-oxygen supply
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Ben Boven
Ben Boven@benboven1·
This season on 'My So-Called Renaissance'....
Ben Boven tweet media
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Draggin Father Behind
Draggin Father Behind@DragginFatherB·
"M--. Will is here. He has a sword." - 8yo casually announcing to her brother the next backyard duel
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My Life As Dad
My Life As Dad@milifeasdad·
My wife and I play this cute game every time we go out where she picks 2 outfits out and asks my opinion on which looks better, then wears a different one anyway.
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Henpecked Hal
Henpecked Hal@HenpeckedHal·
Saw an Amazon truck drop a kid off at school this morning. Didn't know that was an option.
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Vinod Chhaproo
Vinod Chhaproo@Chhapiness·
Things you never find once lost 1. Innocence 2. Childhood 3. Chapstick 4. New Chapstick 5. Backup Chapstick
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Draggin Father Behind
Draggin Father Behind@DragginFatherB·
Sometimes I wonder how there can be flat earthers, but then I remind myself how my son blamed his last 5 soccer game losses solely on the ref
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Kristen
Kristen@Kica333·
Anyone else feel like your body is an old phone battery that won’t charge above 20%?
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Eden Dranger
Eden Dranger@Eden_Eats·
it’s that time of night where I turn off my 13 inch screen and watch my 65 inch screen.
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
My 5yo ran in during a meeting and asked me to open a bottle of gatorade "for an experiment" and now I'm afraid to leave this room
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Uptown Schmuck
Uptown Schmuck@SchmuckOnAHorse·
Whoever said "If you believe it you can achieve it." never tried leaving the house on time with toddlers.
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
My kid is running around the house with an open umbrella draped across his shoulders and got mad because I couldn't guess he was a *checks notes* vampire blaster mechagodzilla
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Late to the party Laura
Late to the party Laura@ericamorecambe·
I’m starting to worry about my husband’s eyesight. He can’t seem to see that the cutlery drawer is divided into sections.
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Adam
Adam@adamgreattweet·
a haunted house but each room is another meeting that could have been an email
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One Awkward Mom
One Awkward Mom@oneawkwardmom·
world mental health day occurring on prime day means that all those purchases are for the good of your mental health
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Daddy Go Fish
Daddy Go Fish@daddygofish·
me: couldn’t find my glasses to do a project, then found my glasses but forgot about the project. my wife: sounds like you’re playing old man whac-a-mole.
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