Andrée Vermeulen

I'm gonna open a shop where people can come in and just scream into a pillow and then leave.

@alextoussaint25 @MensHealthMag Story of my life. My first name too!

I thought I'd leave these here. Just in case, hypothetically, the new potential owner of Twitter decides to bar videos critiquing billionaires and the system that enables them.

Inflation Rate 🇪🇺: 10.9% 🇩🇪: 10.9% 🇬🇧: 10.1% 🇮🇹: 9.4% 🇪🇸: 9% 🇮🇪: 8.6% 🇺🇸: 8.2% No. Inflation is not going up in the U.S. because the working class got a $1,400 check 19 months ago. Multinational corporations are jacking up prices worldwide.

Just coming on here to let you all know that I thought the Billy Joel lyric was: “when will you realize the pian’a waits for you.” 🎹

This is genius. Italian singer Adriano Celentano released a song in the 70s with nonsensical lyrics meant to sound like American English—to prove that Italians would just love any American song. And it was a hit.

My 2 yr old saw a long, narrow stretch of concrete and said “a river!” So. Maybe we need to leave LA.

At this point, Elon Musk's predictions for his own technology all sound like a six-year-old trying to brag about how strong his dad is.

Annnnnd I need to get these costumes for Archie & Crouton

@johnnypemberton This is why its common for people to watch it over and over again.

This week, The Alarmist (@SmithRebe) talks with actor and comedian @DreeAndree about the toddler who fell into an exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo resulting in the death of the Gorilla Harambe. Should we really be keeping animals in captivity? podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the…

TONIGHT!

My husband is notorious for not screwing lids on things. Today I took one of those things and shook it. HARD.

Talking about nail polish with my 2 yr old: Me: and sometimes I like to wear no color. Her: and sometimes yes color?

@danielleweisber Wait. Is this very dry sarcasm, or have you not seen the booth?

@Jackie_Michele …but did pee leak out? Let’s make this tweet more REAL 🤣

@rivbutcher Wait! I ran into you on your BIRTHDAY!? I wish I had known! Happiest of birthdays!!!

hey, i’m 40 (it’s birthday)

Here's a fun thing: Take your first name and then go fuck yourself.

@megangailey This is me but with hot coffee. Iced? NO THANKS!

@DreeAndree NEW YEAR, NEW BOOKS! I'd love your help spreading the word to get my students new books for the upcoming school year! donorschoo.se/e/1ytkHz91Yrb